[sticky post]Masterfic list


Be Okay
(Pikame, former Akame)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28

Nice Guys Finish Last? (ongoing) (Main: Nakame, Side: Akame, Pikame, Kokame, and Tegoshi Yuya/ Kamenashi Kazuya)
First Guy Second Guy

Yes, Master (Ongoing) (Ryoda, Ryo/?)

Mistakes from the Past (RyoUchi)
Prologue 1 2 3

One Shot
Say what you mean to say (RyoKame)- Ryo was never good at saying what he felt, but when a new student named Kame comes to school and understands Ryo, will he be able to say how he really feels for him.

Catch me when I fall (Takki/Ryo)- Ryo had overwhelmed himself with work to the point where he was making himself sick, and he is forced to make a decision, however, Takki takes care of him and they fall in love along the way, how will that influence Ryo's decision?

The Rockstar and the Pianist (Ryoda)-Ryo was famous, but unlucky in love, so after Hina and Yoko's encouragement he tries an online dating site and one of them is a match, Tatsuya Ueda, an average-joe pianist. At first their relationship is much like anybody else's, but soon Tatsuya finds the struggles of dating a celebrity. Can Tatsuya reconcile their different lifestyles?

Make Me Experienced (Takki/Ryo)- Everyone thought that Takki was experienced, but in reality he wasn't and only a few people knew that including Ryo. So when he wants to become more experienced for someone Ryo offers to share his expertise, but will they remain just as someone teaching a senpai, or will they become more than that?

Why did I have to Fall in Love with You (Ohmiya)- Nino has been in love with Ohno for years, but what does Ohno have to say to him one day on their weekly dinner?

I'll Always Come Back to You (Ohmiya, Matsumiya, Jun/?)-  A few years ago Ohno broke up with Nino and Nino had no idea why. Three years later, they meet again unexpectedly on a date they had set aside earlier in their relationship and questions arise about the past. Nino is famous now, and Ohno's just ordinary, but will the same feelings they had reawaken?

Part 1 Part 2

Full Circle- Sequel to I'll Always Come Back To You Jun had screwed up, but after all these years there was still one person he could never get over: Toma.

I'm not like the others (Pikame)- Kame was gorgeous and when Pi saw Kame at the university it was lust at first sight, but when Pi takes it upon himself to protect Kame from other's advances does he feel more than lust and will he be able to break Kame's barriers?

The one thing we have in common (Aiba/Kame)- Aiba and Kame weren't friends, in fact when they started talking, they didn't even have much in common. So why is it that Kame feels butterflies in his stomach?

Be more adventurous (Koyashige)- After being together for a while, everything is perfect in their relationship except their bedroom life. When Koyama has an unconventional assignment for News Every, he finds the place that just might be have the solution.

Five dates of Ryoda (Ryoda)- Ryo was in love with Tatsuya, however, given their past history, Tatsuya never thought about him that way so as a compromise he gives Ryo 5 chances to convince him and prove that he loves Tatsuya, but will it work in the end?

Drama Fics
We shouldn't be together (Aoi/Ryuzaki)- Aoi and Ryuzaki are the only people on the planet who could possibly understand the other and consequently they fall in love. The problem is they are brothers and after months of dating Aoi is still trying to grapple around their tabooed relationship.

Do-over (Takki/ Tsubasa)-Takki is a flirt and pretty much treats everybody the same, but when he tries to confess, well it doesn't turn out the way he planned.

I'm not going anywhere

Pairing: Ohmiya, Ohno/ OC
Genre: Angst, Romance, Drama
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When Nino left, he didn't realize how much he had hurt Ohno. Coming back, he thought it would be easy to win him back, but now that he's back and Ohno has moved on, can he make it up to him?

                “What are you doing?” Nino asked cheerfully as he returned home to find Ohno sitting on the couch, hands clasped in front of him head bowed. When he heard Nino’s voice his head moved upwards and even more the vacant look in his eye scared Nino.

                “Were you even planning on telling me?” Ohno asked quietly but there was an edge, hostility behind his words.

                “I told you today.” Nino shrugged unable to see why Ohno was acting the way he was.

                “You told me today like everybody else.”

                “Yeah, we’re ARASHI, I wanted to tell you all at once.”

                “Did you even think about me or my feelings, when you made this decision?” Nino’s face scrunched up in horror and understanding.

                “I thought you’d be happy for me.” Nino said incredulously, “You knew how much I wanted this.”

                “I’m happy that you have this chance, I truly am, but I am furious that you didn’t even talk to me about this. I’m hurt that you treated me like everyone else and not like I’m your boyfriend.”

                “I’m sorry.” Nino said sarcastically.

                “No you’re not, because you do this all the time. You never consider my feelings, you never discuss these things with me. What am I supposed to do? Just accept the fact that in a week my boyfriend will be gone for three months.”

                “That isn’t fair.” Nino defended himself. Ohno stood up and glared at Nino and it was only then that he realized the severity of the argument. Ohno never glared, Ohno avoided conflict.

                “It’s true. You’re selfish, you’re egoistic, and you’ve done this before. You took a vacation alone without telling me, you decided to take the job in Osaka for a week and just left. I don’t think you even know or want to be in a relationship.”

                “That’s not true. Look I’m sorry about everything in the past, but you know how much I’ve wanted to work in Hollywood.”

                “I do, so I’m giving you an ultimatum, either stay here and be my boyfriend, or go.”

                “No please don’t make me choose, that’s not fair.” Nino was begging, he knew that but he couldn’t think of how he would live with himself with either decision.

                “What’s not fair is that you don’t take me into account in your life. You live your life as if nobody else matters and you leave me to deal with the consequences of your choices. So only this time, I’m being selfish. I want my boyfriend. I want to wake up with you next to me, I want to go on dates with you, I want to hold your hand and kiss you, and make love to you. I don’t want to spend months apart and just Skype or chat on Facebook. I want you here.”

                “I can’t get out of my contract.” Nino said taking Ohno’s words to heart.

                “Can’t or won’t?” Nino didn’t reply and that was enough of an answer for Ohno.

                “Get out.” Ohno hissed, and gone were his characteristic warm eyes replaced by a cold, hard stare.

                “We still have a week, let’s talk about this. I promise after this job I’ll change.”

                “You’ve said that before. Get out.”

                “No please, no. I don’t want to break up. We can talk every day and text.” Nino begged.

                Ohno moved forward and Nino found himself being forced out the door.

                A few hours later, Nino found himself at Sho and Aiba’s house.

                “He gave me an ultimatum.” Nino explained.

                “What did you do?” Aiba asked.

                “Me? Why do you think I did something?”

                “Ohno doesn’t anger easily, so you must have done something.” Sho answered.

                Nino sighed. “It is all my fault I guess.” Nino explained to them the extent of the discussion and when he finished both Aiba and Sho looked at him horrified.

                “You made a huge decision without even talking to him about it? And it wasn’t the first time?” Aiba dared to ask. The only thing that Nino could do was shake his head sadly.

                “Listen, I love Ohno, but this is an opportunity that happens only once in a lifetime. Ohno will still be here when you come back.” Aiba, stricken, looked at Sho, but Sho was the voice of logic and Nino knew that what Sho said was true.

                The next week Nino boarded a plane for Los Angeles. Because after all, Ohno would still be there when he returned, right?

                Every day right when Nino woke up and right before he went to bed he sent text messages to Ohno, asking about his day and relaying a few funny stories, but he never once received any indication that Ohno had received any of his messages.

                Occassionally, he would call Sho, and seemingly as if reading his mind, Sho would weave a few updates into the conversation and Nino would always smile hearing the latest mishap that Ohno had done.

                But after the first two months, Sho stopped talking about Ohno and Nino never got the courage to ask about him.  When he came home, he knew that Ohno wasn’t going to be waiting at Narita airport to greet him, but when he arrived and saw that Ohno wasn’t there, his heart dropped.

                His manager grabbed his bag and together they faced the barrage of paparazzi that had arrived to snap the first photos of him back in Japan. He shielded his face from them and hurried into the waiting van that was going to take them both to the Jimusho. His heart raced as he realized the moment that he had long since waited for was about to arrive. He was going to see his Ohno again.

                He arrived at the Jimusho and headed straight for the Arashi green room. He arrived and Aiba practically jumped into his arms out of happiness. Jun just clapped a hand on his shoulder and smiled, but when Nino looked past them he saw that Sho had an uncomfortable look on his face and Ohno wasn’t even there.

                “Welcome back.” Sho said but his voice was strained.

                “Where’s…?” Nino felt his voice trail off as a lump gathered in his throat.

                “He’s probably out with his new boyfriend.” Aiba said cheerfully before clapping a hand over his mouth after realizing what he said.

                “He’s seeing someone?” Nino felt tears well up. This wasn’t the welcome that he had expected. It wasn’t like that at all. They all just stood in silence as they watched Nino digest the news.

                A few minutes later the door swung open and Ohno walked in. Nino turned around with a hurt expression on his face and watched as Ohno came in unfazed by his presence. “Welcome back, Ninomiya-san.”

                Hearing that the first tears began to trickle down Nino’s cheeks. Ninomiya-san. Ohno hadn’t even called him that when they had first met. It was always Nino, or Kazu-kun, or Kazunari, or Kazu-chan, but it was never Ninomiya-san. Ohno walked past him and sat down on the couch, picking up the latest edition of Fishing Weekly off of the coffee table.

                The other three just shifted their gazes between the broken couple until Jun excused themselves  to leave the two in peace.

                “You’re dating someone?” Nino asked disheartened.

                “Did Sho tell you?” Ohno asked unaffected, “Yeah, we’ve been dating for a little while.”

                “What about us?” Nino asked.

                “There is no ‘us’ anymore, you made that clear when you boarded that plane for LA.” And for the first time since he’d come back, Nino saw some emotion elicited from Ohno.

                “Don’t you love me anymore?”

                “No. I’m giving you what you want and we will only be work colleagues from now on.”

                “I don’t want that,” Nino practically screamed through his tears. “I want you.”

                “You should have realized that before.” Ohno snapped and stood up leaving a crying Nino alone in the green room.

                He walked past the other three who just watched him walk away before they entered the green room probably to console Nino. Except for Jun. Jun followed him up to the rooftop.

                “It’s not as easy as you thought it would be, is it?”

                “No,” Ohno admitted, “but he hurt me, I wasn’t anyone important to him.” Ohno was resigned and when he had heard that Nino left for LA, a part of him had died. Nino chose work over him once again, Nino didn’t love him.

                “If you weren’t important to him, why is he crying his eyes out in the green room?”

                “He’s just like a little child who had a toy taken away from him. He doesn’t care about me, he just misses the idea of having something that he once had before.” Ohno said.

In the green room, the sight that Sho and Aiba saw was pitiful. Nino was lying on the carpeted floor curled into himself sobbing.  Sho and Aiba gently uncurled him and weakly held him up was he cried into his arms.

“You said he’d still be here when I came back.” Nino said between his tears. “He hates me now.”

“You broke his heart when you left.” Aiba said, “I don’t think he hates you, but I think that he is in pain.”

“I told him I would change. But he didn’t even wait for me.”

“Then show him.” Sho said. “He may not believe your words, but show him that you’ve changed.”

                The next day, Nino came to work with eyes bloodshot from crying. “I want you to know that you are the only one for me, and I will prove to you that I’ve changed.”  Ohno didn’t say anything else, but just watched Nino stride across the room and pull out his Gameboy.

                “So how is it now that Nino’s back?” Ichiro grinned as he sat with Ohno over a candlelit dinner.

                “He still thinks that we are together.” Ohno rolled his eyes.

                “Are you thinking about getting together?” Ichiro asked, concern seeping into his words.

                “I’m with you, not him. I’m not going anywhere.” Ichiro smiled, but a nagging fear crept in the back of his mind.

                Nino cornered him at work a few weeks after his promise to prove that he had changed. “I got a job offer to shoot a drama special in the countryside, I’ll be gone for a few weeks.”

                Ohno stiffened but smiled, “Congratulations, but why are you telling me this?”

                “I wanted to ask you if you thought that I should take the job.”

              “It seems like you already made up your mind, besides, we are no longer together so my opinion shouldn’t matter.”

                “I haven’t made up my mind yet and your opinion does matter, it matters to me.”

                “You said ‘I’ll be gone’, you’ve already decided that you’ll go.” Ohno said, “so go. It doesn’t matter to me anymore so do whatever you want.”

                Nino bowed his head and frowned, “okay.” Was all he said, and the disappointment in his voice made Ohno’s heart clench.

                Later, Sho was alone with Ohno and said, “He is really trying hard.”

                “I know,” Ohno said, “But he hurt me so much and I can’t be together with him again.”

                Sho just looked at him with a pitying gaze and didn’t say anymore.

                “I think we should break up.” Ichiro announced and Ohno looked at him horrified.

                “What? Why?”

                “You’ve been so distracted lately ever since Nino returned and I think it’s pretty clear that you aren’t in love with me.”

                Ohno didn’t know what to say in response so Ichiro just leaned forward and pressed a final kiss against Ohno’s cheek.

                A few days later, rumors began to circulate around the Jimusho that Ohno was back on the market, and when Nino heard them his heart leapt forward.

                “I didn’t break up with him,” Ohno said as he noticed the other’s gazes boring into him.

                “I’m sorry.” Nino said.

                “No, you aren’t. You see this as an opportunity to get me back.” Ohno said, shutting him down completely.

                “Ohno.” Jun warned.

                “No, let’s just talk about it. I gave you opportunity upon opportunity to change before you left and you didn’t. I asked you to stay, and you didn’t. You didn’t love me enough to stay and now you expect me to come back to you just because I’m single. You’re just like a fucking child, you can’t stand it when something that was once yours is taken away from you. And don’t you dare say it isn’t like that because I know you.”

                “Ohno, that’s enough.” Sho stood up as he saw Nino’s eyes well up for the nth time since he had come back. What Nino had done maybe wasn’t right, but Ohno was hurting him and Sho just couldn’t stand it.

                “It’s fine, I’m leaving anyways.” When it was only the four of them left.  Nino said, “He thinks I left because I didn’t love him enough.”

                “It’s the hurt talking.” Aiba said, but Nino knew that that is what Ohno believed, from his heart.

                Ohno was startled by a knock on his door later that night. After he had calmed down, he regretted everything that he had said to Nino, but he was hurt. Opening the door, he was stunned when he saw Nino on the other side, awkwardly shifting his weight between his feet.

                “We need to talk.” Nino said.    

                “I agreed.” Ohno said having come to the realization that his personal problems with Nino had begun affecting his professionalism.

                “You were never a toy for me.” Nino said. “You are the love of my life. I took you for granted and I’m so, so sorry. But I’m truly sorry that things didn’t work out between you and your new boyfriend. The last thing I want is to cause you more pain than I already have. And I don’t want you back just because you aren’t mine. I want you back because I can’t live without you and I don’t think that you can live without me.”

                Ohno just stared at him as he let his words sink in.

                “Well, I’d better go, but good night.”

                “Wait,” Ohno reached up to grab Nino. “Don’t take that job, the drama special.”

                “Okay.” Nino said.

                “Don’t plan vacations without me.”


                “Don’t treat me like the other band members.”


                “Don’t leave me behind.”

                “I won’t.”

                “And never, ever, leave me again.” Ohno pulled Nino against him and crushed his lips with his own. He weaved his hands in Nino’s soft, silky hair and slid his tongue into Nino’s mouth exploring it as if it was the first time again.

                “I’m not going anywhere.” Nino promised and kissed him again and again.

The Beginning of the End or the End of the Beginning

Title: The Beginning of an End, or and End of a Beginning
Pairing/Group: RyoPi
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, dystopia
Summary: In a split second, Pi’s life completely changes and he is forced to leave the dystopian society that he has always known. Along the way he meets people with an equal desire for vengeance and feelings develop between him and another rebel, Ryo, but with both of their pasts, what will happen to their future?
Note: This fic is for go_chan2011, for the pi_exchange

Pi worked in the field with the other Degenerates. It wasn’t like there was anything observable that was wrong with them, but throughout the years, they had all fallen through the cracks and the higher ups noticed that they were, “untrainable”. That was the reason for the pills, they were supposed them better fit for society, but even with the pills, Pi was still deemed a Degenerate.

Farming sucked. At least that was Pi’s take. The Degenerates were spaced out and each was allotted a plot of land to farm, cultivate, and harvest. They weren’t allowed to speak to each other and at the edge of the field stood an electrified fence, to keep the animals out, and each were heavily watched by the Learners.

Day in and day out he went out to the fields while others were still in school, and some had even progressed to University. People explained to him that he was dangerous, a threat to himself and others: The definition of a Degenerate. Pi knew from an early age that he was different than the other, while they maintained stoic expressions, he would laugh and grin.

In school he was forced to write the mantra over and over again, but after years of trying to drill it into his brain, they finally gave up on him and labeled him a Degenerate.

It was just another ordinary day in the field and Pi was dying of thirst. He was close to the fence, watering the plants and looked out into the distance. In the brush he saw movement and gasped. In all of the months he’d been out in the field he’d never seen one of the wild beasts that was talked about in schools.

He approached the fence closer and closer, though he was cautious enough to not get close enough to touch it and squinted his eyes to try to distinguish what was out there.

A pair of eyes peered out from a bush and looked at Pi, and with a mix of awe and fear Pi looked back mesmerized by the chocolaty brown eyes that looked back at him. They stared each other down for a while until the other pair of eyes blinked and turned away and for a split second, Pi could have sworn that it was a human in the brush and not an animal.

This curiosity, another reason why he was a Degenerate, made him ponder that for the rest of his shift and it stuck in his mind for the rest of the evening. If there were people out there, shouldn’t they be invited into the city?

At the dinner table, Pi listened to his younger sister tell him stories about events that had happened at school. “Did anything happen in the fields today?” His father asked.

“Some kid disappeared again.” Pi said it non-chalantly, but he knew that tomorrow it could easily be him. It wasn’t unheard of for a Degenerate to disappear one day, but nobody ever bothered to ask any questions or protests. They were the lowest of the low and Pi knew that it was only because his father was an upper level scientist that he was still allowed in the house. “And I thought I saw somebody outside the field.” His father stopped cutting his meat and his utensils dropped with a clink against the plate. He shared a worried glance with Pi’s mother and brushed it off.

“It must have been hallucinations from the heat.” His father dismissed. But seeing his parents stunned reaction made Pi even more convinced that he hadn’t imagined what he saw. There were people out there. There were other people.

Before Pi could continue on his subject, he father reminded him to take his pill, the same one that he took with every meal. It was supposed to help him become normal, to show less emotions, or even to not have them at all. For some it worked and they were able to reintegrate into society, but for him after six years on the regiment it wasn’t working.

Pi sighed and got ready for bed, and just as he was getting ready to sleep his father entered shutting the door behind him. He looked up to the camera that was installed by the government in every Degenerate’s room and leaned down to whisper in his ear. “You must never talk about what you saw today or what you think you saw or they will come after you and then they will come for us.”

Pi moved backwards in shock and motioned to say something but his father reapproached him. “My son, you have a gift that is not celebrated here, and probably they will come for you. If they do you need to run and don’t come back. Run and don’t come back. In the fourth quadrant there is a hole under the gate, you won’t get hurt. If they come, run and outside the city ask for Nishikido Ryo.”

“Dad nothing’s going to happen, it was a hallucination like you said.” Hearing the seriousness in his father’s voice made him want to negate his gut feeling, but he knew that he couldn’t just attribute this to his father’s paranoia. There were others.
Pi went out to work the next day as usual and thought nothing of what his father had said, but when it came time for his lunch break he saw guards head towards the head overseer and Pi had a sinking feeling that they were coming for him. So he did what his father said. He started running for his house thinking that his family would be home for their lunch.

He ran through the streets attracting a few stares and raced into his house. “They are coming!” He announced and his father swore at him for his stupidity at coming back to the house instead of just leaving. His mother peered out the window and saw a body of six guards moving towards them. “They’re coming.”

“Hide!” His father said and shoved him into a closet. Pi cringed when he heard a knock of the door and the guards forced their way inside.

“Where is he?” One asked and he father lied saying that he was still probably in the fields. The other guards walk around the house.

“He knows too much. You were supposed to be the only one who knew these things.”

“I didn’t tell him.” Pi’s father protested and raised his hands showing his innocence.

“He’s not here.” Another guard announced and Pi breathed a sigh of relief. But it wasn’t over yet.

“We’ll come back tomorrow, he probably doesn’t even know that he’s being chased, and once we find him we’ll kill him.”

Pi felt his heartbeat quicken as he watched from the slit in the closet door the events that were unfolding. In the background, there was the broadcast of the chant streaming throughout the City, blaring at a decibel that was impossible to ignore.

We cannot show emotions.
Emotions are weakness.
And weakness will kill you.

It was the mantra that he, himself, had said countless times as he grew up, but now it seemed artificial at best as he watched from the sliver of light that shown in his father being beat up. His mother cowered in the corner with her arms wrapped tightly around his younger sister and watched in dismay as his father became bloodied from the officers’ beatings.

The guards that weren’t occupied dragged his mother and sister out, and after he father collapsed, he too was removed from the house. Pi wasn’t sure how long he stood there in shock, probably a couple of hours, but when he finally gained enough confidence that the house was safe he changed clothes and put on a coat that gave him somewhat of a disguise and began running in the direction of the fourth quadrant. Night had fallen, but he was still wary of patrol guards, but in the cover of night it was easier to blend in the shadows. Just as he was approaching the border of the fourth quadrant, a voice clearly bellowed. “Halt!” He was caught.
Pi started running the perimeter of the fence hoping to find the hole that his father had reference and heard the guard’s heavy footsteps follow. He was never so happy when he felt his foot slip into a large hole and using his hands he clawed himself under. Just when he thought he was safe, the guard grabbed his ankle and started to pull him back.

Pi struggled with his legs and squirmed and was successfully able to kick the guard in the face to free himself for just enough time to wriggle himself under the fence and begin running again. He knew that the guards wouldn’t venture outside the city, and after he had run, he realized that he had a larger problem. He had no idea how to reach this Nishikido Ryo.
Outside the city there was nothing but desert as far as the eye could see and Pi hadn’t brought any water or food so after the sun rose and Pi had lost sight of the city’s fence, his stomach rumbled in pain from hunger and his lips were parched. Every few minutes he would lick them for some temporary relief, but in the end he was just hungry and thirsty.

Probably ten hours since he’d begun running he collapsed on the ground and it was then, and only then that he noticed that somebody had been following him. As the man approach, Pi noticed that he was good-looking, but had hostile eyes. And as he lowered his eyes, he noticed a gun pointing directly at him.

“Who are you?” The man demanded, his eyes seedy and observant.

“My name is Yamashita Tomohisa. I’m looking for Nishikido Ryo.” The man seemed dubious of him, but after hearing Ryo’s name he lowered the gun, though not completely.
“I was told that he could help me.”

“I’ll take you to him.” Was all the other said. Pi started walking and noticed how the other man followed behind him. Occasionally he would tell him to change direction but he never lead him and watched his every move.

Not long afterwards, the man stopped and kicked the ground four times. The sand shifted just enough to reveal a door in the middle of the desert.

The man, who had never introduced himself, opened the hatch and said, “You first.” Pi entered cautiously, looking at the man for reassurance and headed down in the dark tunnel. At first he was completely blind in the darkness, but after his eyes adjusted he noticed a faint light at the end of the tunnel. He started walking and heard the click clack of the other man’s boots behind him. “Go right.” He said and walked past several men who looked him up and down all of whom were heavily armed.

The other man stopped him in front of a door and knocked to which to only reply that was heard was a grunt. The other man opened the door and for the first time Pi trailed behind him.

“Got a new guy. Found him wandering in the desert.” The man who he’d been led by walked behind the table and wrapped his arms around the other protectively. He tilted the other’s head back and kissed him all the while staring at Pi.

“Jin, that’s enough.” The other man, the one Pi assumed to be Ryo said seriously and pushed Jin off of him. Jin left, but not before glaring at Pi one more time leaving the two of them alone in the makeshift office.

“Who are you?” Ryo asked and Pi looked at him, really looked at him. He was about his age. His face was boyish and his hair flopped over his eyes a little, yet he had the same steely look in his eye as Jin did “I’m Yamashita Tomohisa. But everybody calls me Pi.”

My father sent me to you.”

“I knew your father. Are you a Degenerate?” Pi nodded. “Do you have your pills with you?” Pi nodded once more since that was one of the few things that he had remembered to take with him. “Throw them away.” Ryo ordered. “They make your mind jumbled and foggy. They are a means of control.” Ryo pointed to a garbage can in which Pi threw away the remainder of his pills.

“Come on. I’ll show you around.” As Pi and Ryo walked through the hallway with Ryo occasionally pointing out an important infrastructure, but as they were walking Pi noticed several groups of men, two, sometimes three, overtly making out in the middle of the hallway. It wasn’t that Pi had a problem with it, hell he liked men too. It was just that in the city people were more private.

“Are you all…?” Pi’s voice trailed off as he wasn’t sure how to politely say gay without offending Ryo in case he was wrong.

“Gay? No. I am, but most of these guys are straight or bisexual, but as you can see there aren’t too many women around… and we have needs…” Ryo didn’t continue, but Pi got the message.

Ryo showed him to his room, which coincidentally was Ryo’s as well. “I’ll take care of you.” Ryo promised as Pi sat on the bed and left him in private and it was only then that the events that had unfolded earlier were real. His family had been taken away from him. He was in a place with people he didn’t know and in the past 24 hours his life was inexplicably altered and he didn’t know how to get it back. He felt tears trickle down his face and buried his head into the pillow.

When Ryo reentered Pi was sure that he could tell the other had been crying, but he didn’t say anything and instead lay back on his bed and fell asleep. And for that Pi was grateful.
The next day when Pi woke up, he didn’t feel better, but instead he had a resolve. He was going to bring his family back.

Ryo ate breakfast with him and Jin joined them, practically throwing himself on Ryo. After Ryo’s explanation earlier, Pi noticed that their relationship, at least on Ryo’s part was not one of love, but instead a means to an end.

“Who are you anyways?” Pi asked after realizing that he had no idea who these people were.

“We’re rebels.” Jin replied. “We all are originally from the city, but all of us were Degenerates at one point and we’re trying to take down the government.”

“Have you ever held a gun before?” Ryo asked randomly and Jin just chuckled.

“No, but I’m a fast learner.”

“It’s okay, you can stay here and cook and help around the barracks.” Ryo said and Jin grinned.

“Like a mascot.”

“They took my family,” Pi said while staring at the other two. “I’m not just going to sit back and wait.”

“They took somebody from everyone.” Ryo snapped and there was visible pain in his eyes.

“Did they take someone from you?” Pi asked, but instead of answering Ryo just picked up his tray scraped off the remainder of the food and left.

“You shouldn’t have brought it up.” Jin said, and stood up when he saw another man enter the cantine to hug and kiss him as well.

Pi quickly cleaned up and headed back for the room they shared. He found Ryo sitting on the bed holding a picture in hand. Pi cautiously approached but Ryo was too distracted to notice his presence, so when he sat down on the bed Ryo jumped slightly.

“I’m sorry about bringing it up.” Pi said and gently put his hand on the other man’s shoulder. The Ryo that was sitting in their room hardly resembled the strong leader that he had first been introduced to and this person was someone that Pi felt like he needed to protect.
Ryo held out the picture so that Pi could see better. In the picture, there was a younger Ryo with his arm wrapped around the shoulder of another boy, a taller, slightly younger boy. They were both wearing the traditional clothes of the Degenerates who worked in the fields and both were smiling. “His name was Uchi, he was my boyfriend.” The past tense didn’t escape Pi.
“They killed him.” Ryo’s voice was tense and after all these years Pi knew that Ryo wasn’t over him.

“I’m sorry.” Pi said for lack of something more consoling to say. “I’m sorry about your family as well.” Ryo said and cleared his throat and stood up.

“Ready to learn how to shoot?” Ryo asked and Pi felt as though they had reached a mutual understanding.

Ryo led Pi down to one of the lower levels of the compound to a shooting range and handed him a small gun that had been hanging on the wall. “Try it.”

Pi held in in his hands clumsily, in a manner that only a person who had never held a gun before could and fired the first shot as Ryo looked on. “You’re shaking too much.” Ryo moved behind him to show him how to properly hold the gun. Pi was consciously aware of the way Ryo’s chest pressed up against his back and the way Ryo’s strong hands covered his own that Pi became hyperaware of their proximity.

Ryo adjusted Pi’s hands and for a few shots covered Pi’s hands with his own to show him how to properly do it.

“Your turn.” Ryo released his hands and Pi tried on his own again. The shots didn’t hit the targets like they did when Ryo had helped him, but it was a significant improvement from before. Ryo watched and commented as Pi continued to shoot the small gun. After a few hours of practice, Ryo called it quits and headed upstairs with Pi following him.

In the afternoons, Ryo was busy planning the next raid with Jin and a few other leaders and Pi either continued to practice or spent time in the kitchen. Ryo personally took it upon himself to oversee Pi’s training during the mornings and after a few weeks, they had developed an odd sort of friendship.

But in those weeks, Pi had begun to realize what Ryo meant by having certain needs. Perhaps it was just from being around Jin who was willing to fuck anyone with two legs, or maybe it was the other couples who kissed overtly, but Pi was getting antsy and he became even more aware when Ryo would touch him, even if it was innocently.

In the privacy of his room, generally in the afternoons when Ryo was gone, Pi would touch himself to get a small reprieve from the constant desire that he had had since he had almost arrived.

One night while they were lying on their beds though neither of them were asleep, Pi ventured over to Ryo’s bed and shook him. “Help me, please.” Ryo sat up and turned on the light. Pi’s entire body was burning with desire and Ryo could tell just by looking at him. Pi was overcome with lust and throwing caution to the wind, he straddled Ryo and kissed him. Ryo wasn’t responsive at first, but slowly reciprocated after realizing that since Jin had found his new person of the month seeing as how Ryo’s attention was diverted since Pi had arrived, he himself hadn’t had sex in a while.

“Pi, I’m not looking for anything serious. I need you to know that.” It was unspoken but Pi heard I’m not over Uchi. “I know.” Pi replied. “But like you said, we both have needs.” And as he said it, he hoped that it was true.

Ryo nodded, accepting Pi’s reasoning and wrapped his hands around Pi’s waist gently lifting his shirt up over his head and pulling him onto his lap. Ryo kissed him and nibbled at Pi’s neck. Pi fisted Ryo’s silky hair as he threw his head back and moaned. He hadn’t had much sex in the city, but here the atmosphere made everything…more.

Pi pulled Ryo’s shirt over his head and groaned at the loss of sensation until their tongues were joined once again. Pi’s hands roamed over Ryo’s chiseled body and he felt the nooks and crannies of Ryo’s body. They intertwined their bodies so that Ryo lay flesh beneath Pi and they quickly stripped each other of the remained of their clothes.

Ryo groaned and weaved his fingers through Pi’s hair as Pi nibbled and sucked at Ryo’s nipple. His fingers roamed Ryo’s body and when his palm grazed Ryo’s cock, the other arched off the bed at the delicious friction that he hadn’t realized that he had missed. Pi kissed him and Ryo stilled for a moment and then kissed him back and rose up so that he was now sitting on Pi’s lap and kissing him.

After Ryo handed him the lube, Pi reached back and gently inserted a finger into Ryo and watched how his finger disappeared completely into the smaller one. He stretched him continuing to kiss and stroke Ryo even though he knew that the other was hardly a virgin and entered a second finger. His fingers moved in and out of Ryo hitting his spot and causing him to see white.

When Ryo started bouncing up against his fingers, Pi knew that the other was ready and steadied Ryo as he lowered himself of the other’s cock. They both moaned at the sensation that they had both missed for a long time but as Ryo started to move and Pi met up each time with his thrusts causing them both to moan in ecstasy at the incredible feeling.

Pi came first and continued to pound into Ryo until both of their stomachs were covering in his sticky cum. Pi tried to clean up as much as possible, but Ryo just waved him aside. This was the awkward part. Was Pi supposed to stay in Ryo’s bed or move back to his own? Just as Pi was about ready to move Ryo’s hand reached out and said. “You can stay.” Pi settle back into the small bed and though there was physical distance between the two of the Pi felt as though they had become closer. In the bizzare situation that he found himself in, Pi felt as though this was the most normal thing in his life right now.

Ryo quickly fell asleep, but whether he actually fell asleep or if he was just avoiding the post-sex conversation. But as Pi looked over at him and saw the vulnerable side to him just like when Ryo had talked about Uchi, he just wanted to reach out and hold him and stroke his hair and reassure him. But he couldn’t. And this is when he realized it: he was falling in love with Ryo. And worse, Ryo would never love him.

When Ryo woke up it was as if nothing had happened, but he realized that what he had with Pi was different than with Jin. He had heard rumours around the compound that Pi never slept around. It was pretty common to do so, no strings attached and Jin was the prime example of that. But Pi was different which made Ryo wonder why he had asked him, and he himself wondered why he found himself enjoying it so much. He shrugged it off but a voice in the back of head told him it was more than just sex.

Over the next few weeks Pi became exponentially better at wielding weapons and they had progressed to a larger style gun. They had continued their arrangement of sleeping together when needed and Pi soon replaced Jin as the person always be Ryo’s side, but with each and every time that they had sex, Pi felt the craving for more.

One night as they were lying naked, this time in Pi’s bed, Pi asked Ryo how he knew his father. “Your father is one of the few people who actually know what is going on. We met by chance back when I was a Degenerate and he was always nice to me. When Uchi was taken your father tried to get him released, but he wasn’t that powerful, so he gave me a chance and told me how to escape; he save my life.”

“Do you think about him a lot, your dead boyfriend?” Pi knew that he was pushing into forbidden territory, but the question slipped out of his mouth.

“Every single day.” Ryo said bitterly and this was the first time that he had ever showed anyone his pain over that day.

Pi leaned over and hugged him and Ryo leaned his head in the crook of Pi’s neck taking in his scent and leaning into the other’s comforting embrace.

“Do you think that you could ever move on? I mean not forget him but have another person in your life?” Pi asked and the moment the words left his mouth he knew it was the wrong thing to ask. Ryo stiffened and pulled back. They both knew where this conversation was heading and Ryo didn’t like it, but there was no going back now.

“I don’t know if it’s because I actually like you or if it’s because of the circumstances that we are in, but I just think that we could be more.”

Ryo nearly jumped off the bed and frowned. “I told you before it was just sex. Shit, Pi.”

“I’m sorry.” Pi apologized, but it was too late. Ryo was looking at him horrified and he hurriedly pulled his clothes on.

“I’m leaving.” And Ryo did. That night he never came back to the room.

When Pi showed up to practice man-to-man fighting the next day, it wasn’t Ryo who was teaching him, but Jin and instead of his signature smirk, Jin gave him a pitying expression.

“Come on, I’ll help you out.” Despite his sarcastic personality, Jin was a good teacher and for the first few hours they covered the basics. Jin offered that they go to lunch together, but Pi refused and Jin saw how his shoulders drooped as he headed back to his room.

Jin had his suspicions about what had happened and was surprised when Ryo had requested that Jin take over Pi’s training. When he entered the cantine he sat next to Ryo who didn’t look much better than Pi had.

“You look like shit.” Jin stated bluntly and Ryo grimaced. “What the hell happened between you two?”

“He suggested that we take the next step.” Ryo said and Jin didn’t need to ask further what the other meant. It was hardly a secret that Ryo and Pi had been sleeping together and Jin wasn’t surprised that Pi wanted more; he didn’t seem like the type who would have casual sex.

“Not everybody ends up like Uchi.” Jin said and walked away before Ryo could say anything.

Pi waited up for Ryo to return to their room, but he never did. The next training session he had with Jin, he was incredibly distracted and unfortunately they were practicing body flips on a mat. Jin was patient, but he became frustrated at seeing Pi so absent-minded. He had flipped Pi over, Pi was distracted so he didn’t land right and landed on his shoulder. He landed with an audible crunch and Jin cringed, but shortly thereafter Pi started screaming in pain and clutching his shoulder.

“Get help!” Jin yelled out of the practice room.

From where Ryo was at, there was obvious commotion from down the hall where a small crowd had gathered, as somebody walked by Ryo grabbed his arm and asked him, “What’s going on?”

“There was an accident in the practice room.” The other replied. And terror welled up in Ryo. Pi was in the practice room. He started running and pushed people aside so that he could muscle his way into the room. When he barged in he saw Pi writhing in pain on the floor with Jin hovering over him. For a second they made eye contact and Pi saw the look of panic on Ryo’s face.

“What the fuck happened?!” He yelled at Jin. Both of them knew that it was nobody’s fault and accidents like this happen, but Ryo felt his heart clench at seeing Pi in pain. It was just like Uchi.

“It’s just a dislocated shoulder.” Jin raised his eyebrows at Ryo’s extreme reaction. “Help me pop it back in.”

Ryo kneeled by Pi’s head and turned it to the side so he wouldn’t have to watch what Jin was about to do. Pi looked up at him with tears in his eyes from the pain and Ryo reached down to hold his hand and winced at hearing the simultaneous crunch of Pi’s shoulder being set back in place and hearing Pi’s scream while it happened.

“Ice it and you’ll be fine in a few days.” Jin smirked at Ryo as if to say keep pretending like he’s not special to you.

Ryo led him out of the room and guided him to their former shared room, at least back when Ryo returned at night. “Stay here.” He ordered and when he returned, he had prepared an ice pack to put on Pi’s shoulder.

“I thought you hated me.” Pi said. For the first time in nearly a week Ryo was looking at him.

“I do, I hate you more than you’ll ever know.” Ryo said, and Pi looked down at his hands trying to hold back the tears from the sting of rejection.

“I promised myself that I would never care about somebody again, not after what happened to Uchi. But I panicked when I thought you were severely hurt and my mind wandered to the most severe injuries, I panicked because I cared about you. You made me care about you. And I don’t want to go through the constant fear of losing somebody again.”

Pi looked at him with a furrowed brow. “There’s nothing wrong with caring about someone, and part of caring about somebody is worrying about them and fearing for them, but not everybody ends up like Uchi.” Pi said and Ryo nearly laughed out how Pi reiterated Jin’s statement.

“I’d really like to believe that.” Ryo replied.

After that incident, things slowly returned to normal, or a new normal. Ryo still didn’t have sex with Pi, but he returned to sleep in their room and at times he would continue training Pi. As the seasons changed, the atmosphere in the compound became livelier and there was a buzz about it. Rumors were spreading like wildfire that the higher ups were planning a massive attack to overthrow the government, and everybody’s morale had been lifted. Pi would often see Ryo, Jin and a few others hunched over a map of the city making plans.

The day finally came when everybody was told the plans for the attack. Ryo looked nervous and it was the first time that Pi had seen him that way. Even Jin looked serious and, god, Jin was never serious.

“There’s a hole in the fence in the fourth quadrant, where Pi escaped from, we’re going to enter from there and storm the main building at night so it will be harder for the guards to see us. After that we’ll divide into three groups and we’ll communicate through walkie-talkies, the first group will release the Degenerates and others who are imprisoned, the second will destroy the supply of numbing pills and the third will take out the leaders and then we’ll all meet up back here.”

Ryo started calling off the names of the people in the group and soon it became apparent that Pi was not going.

After everybody else left he confronted Ryo. “Why the fuck am I not going?” Pi nearly yelled at the other. “I’ve trained so hard over the past few weeks and I’m ready.” Ryo looked down and said nothing while Jin silently watched the dispute unfold.

“The answer is no and it is final.” Ryo said coldly and walked away.

“Why?” Pi said. Jin didn’t know for sure, but he could guess why Ryo had not selected Pi.

“Talk to him after you’ve cooled down a little bit. And in my opinion, it has nothing to do with your skills.”

Pi took a walk around the compound and exhaled, after a while he felt his anger subsiding. When he returned to his room he found Ryo hunched over on his bed and he approached the other.

“I’m going. My family is there, and I need to rescue them.” Pi said firmly as he reached out and touched Ryo’s arm.

“I know. I… I just can’t lose you too.” Ryo said and buried himself in Pi’s shoulder.

“You won’t. I promise. Besides you’re way too important for me to leave behind.” Pi said cheekily.

“You’ll be with Jin. I’m going to go kill the leaders.” Ryo admitted, “But please, please be careful.”

“I’ll be fine,” Pi reassured but he knew that there was a veritable threat to what they were going to try to do.

The plan was set forward for the following Friday, and after the assignments and the official news was given out, the compound became even more lively. It was common to hear the sounds of fighting coming from the practice room. Rounds were being unloaded as bullets drilled through targets.

Ryo and Pi rarely saw each other as each was busy with their own preparations, but the night before the plans was to be executed, Ryo made sure to be back in their room. “One more time?” Ryo asked lightly, but the gravity of the situation weighed on their minds. As Ryo sat on top of Pi and felt his member penetrate him he gasped at the feeling of fullness inside of him. Ryo pressed his hands against Pi’s chest and bounced meeting with Pi’s thrusts each time, but this time, the sex was different. There was a sense of urgency on both parts and everything that was left unsaid was put out in the way their bodies entangled and a sheen of sweat covered them both.

After they had both come and both struggled to breathe, Ryo lay next to Pi and looked at him silently. Pi just looked back and stared at the chocolate brown eyes that studied him. After some time, Pi fell asleep first and Ryo followed eventually.

The morning came too soon and there were people milling about preparing the weapons. Pi sought out Jin who helped him gear up and gave him the plan of attack. The last time he saw Ryo was that night when Ryo told everyone to meet back at the compound and to keep in contact over the walkie-talkies. They held each other’s gaze longer than necessary and Ryo just nodded.

Pi followed Jin and they approached the city under the cover of night knowing that the others were following shortly. There weren’t a ton of them, but enough to kill the guards and rescue the prisoners. Jin moved forward and scouted for guards and after seeing that there was nobody nearby motioned for the others to follow.

They stealthily approached the prison and Pi threw a rope up to the rooftop and scaled it, with the others following his lead. There were only two guards on the roof and as soon as Pi reached the top, he easily snapped the neck of the one and used him as a body shield until he could shoot the other in the chest.

He created a mental note to thank Jin for his lessons on hand to hand combat and quietly opened the door as Jin gave one of them instructions to stay guard and headed inside with his gun aimed out in front of him cautiously. He paired them off and assigned them each a floor to begin freeing prisoners. As Pi and his partner climbed down the stairs, the sounds of gunshots and doors being broken down echoed throughout the halls.

Pi fumbled with the doors as his partner tried to knock some down as well. But the locks on this level were not rusted over and not able to be broken. Hearing the commotion, the prisoners came to the doors of their cells to look and see what was going on. Pi told the other guy that he was going to get the keys and headed for where he estimated the main desk of the floor would be.

Already having anticipated him, Pi felt the air around him tremble as bullets whizzed by. He stretched his arms out and with perfect aim shot one, two, three guards and extracted the keys from the hands of one of the dead guards and began to free the prisoners one by one. After agonizing minutes all of the prisoners were freed, but Pi’s family wasn’t among them. When they headed up to the rooftop, Pi scanned the freed prisoners, but his parents weren’t among them.

“Ryo and the others are done, so we’re going to evacuate the prisoners and meet up back there.”

“My family isn’t here.” Pi said fearing the implication of what he was saying. Jin shook his head sadly.

“They’re alive, I know it.”

“We couldn’t find them.” Jin said trying to comfort his friend.

“Get everyone out of here. I’ll find them.”

“Then you’re going alone.”

“I know, but I’ll be back.” Pi grabbed a spare weapon and headed back down the floors to the deep recesses of the prison knowing that if his family was alive, that’s where they would be.

When Ryo saw Jin returning to the compound he smiled and seeing the people following behind him he knew that it was over. He had killed the man responsible for everything including Uchi’s death and finally felt as though some closure had been achieved.

The former prisoners dispersed, some to find family members, others to seek food and a place to sleep.

“Where’s Pi?” Ryo asked as he looked through the people who came back.

Jin shrugged with a chagrined look on his face. “He didn’t come back with us. He was going to find his family.”

Ryo seized Jin up by his collar. “You left him alone?!”

“It was his decision.” Jin shrugged him off, but Ryo noticed his anxiety. That night was the longest of his life. Jin had never said that Pi was dead, but with each second ticking by, his hope faded. He remembered Uchi and what Uchi had gone through and shivered, but Pi promised, he had promised that everything would be alright.

Though it was a victory and they had freed the city of sorts, Ryo couldn’t celebrate with the others and the next morning he looked as though he had lost all hope. In the privacy of the room that he had shared with Pi, he held his head in his hands and wanted to cry, but no tears came out. That night they would go back in the city and start over and maybe find the remnants of Pi’s body.

Jin came running into the room, “Ryo you need to come.” Jin ran out as soon as he had entered, and Ryo had to sprint to catch up to him. He followed him up the staircase into the open air and it was the most magnificent sight he’d ever seen.

In the distance was Pi followed by a younger girl, and a man and a woman, his parents. He was limping, his clothes were torn, and there were scratches and bruises marring his face but he was alive. Ryo took off running in his direction and embraced him.

“I saved them.” Pi said proudly as he felt Ryo’s fingers weave in his hair and his face bury in his neck.

“I thought you were dead.” Ryo whispered and Pi realized how shaken the other one was.

“I promised you that nothing would happen to me.” Pi grinned and pulled away to introduce him to his family.

The next days brought fourth a new normal. They moved back to the city and a scientist was named the mayor of the city with Pi’s father on the council.

For some of the rebels, those who had been away for a while including Ryo, the transition was difficult. Places all around the city reminded Ryo of his previous life and the reason he had left, but things were getting better.

The city eventually desegregated and the Degenerates were abolished. The fence was taken down, though few ventured outside in fear of getting lost in the desert. Pi went back to school and Ryo joined him, but he still hadn’t really adapted to the normalcy of this life.

One day Pi found him on the roof of his home sitting and looking up at the sky. “What are you thinking about?” Pi asked as he joined him.

“I miss it. It’s weird right?”

Pi didn’t have to ask to know what Ryo was talking about. “You lived that life for years, it will take a while to adjust.”

“Where does this leave us?” Ryo looked over at Pi searching for an answer. Since they’d returned, their relationship lay in a murky abyss without really knowing where they stood.

“We continue. My feelings haven’t changed for you, but now we don’t have the fear of dying.”

“I like you too.” Pi leaned over and kissed Ryo under the night sky.

It was a new beginning. Everything was changing. The city was no longer the oppressive dystopia, but quickly became full of life and freedom. Ryo and Pi were able to explore their relationship without the restrictions of being in the rebellion and now that Ryo had gotten some closure he was able to move on from the past trauma of Uchi’s death. Not much changed with Jin. Jin was Jin and he always would be.

But though this marked a beginning, it was far from the end.

The Five Dates of Ryoda

Pairing: Ryoda
Disclaimer: Don't own them
Rating: PG
Genre: Romantic (comedy? maybe) little bit of angst
Summary: Ryo was in love with Tatsuya, however, given their past history, Tatsuya never thought about him that way so as a compromise he gives Ryo 5 chances to convince him and prove that he loves Tatsuya, but will it work in the end?
AN: This is dedicated to ring_rie who requested this MONTHS ago and I'm really, really late on this so I'm so sorry. It accidentally got archived on my computer and I found it about a week ago. Anyways I really hope you like this!

Ueda found himself face palming at the absurd situation he found himself. There was Ryo, the self-proclaimed ‘sexy Osaka man’ bowed in front of him holding his hands out with a letter clasped between them. Hesitantly Ueda pried the paper out of Ryo’s fingers and unfolded the crinkled paper.

Dear Tatsuya-
I’m sorry I’ve been a jackass and made fun of you throughout the years, but I actually do like you so please accept my feelings.
Ryo Nishikido a.k.a. the Sexy Osaka Man

Ueda scrutinized the note and when he read ‘jackass’ he became suspicious. “Kanjani wrote this for you, didn’t they?”

Ryo flushed as he realized that he had been caught and stood up straight. “How’d you know?” he asked as Tatsuya quirked an eyebrow skeptically.

“You’d never call yourself a jackass.” Ryo snatched the letter back from Tatsuya and reread the letter swearing as he read over that part. Tatsuya started to leave, but Ryo held him back. “Wait, I’m sorry I didn’t write it, but it’s true, I do like you.”

“You like me.” Tatsuya repeated. “You the person who tormented me during our junior years and constantly reminded me of all of my shortcomings and called me ‘fishlips’.”

“When you put it like that, it doesn’t sound great, but I really do like you and I’m hoping that you could return my feelings.” Despite the failed attempt at writing the letter, Tatsuya saw sincerity in Ryo’s eyes.

To be honest he wasn’t sure what to do. He wasn’t in love with Ryo, but he didn’t hate him either. "I don’t have the same feelings for you that you have for me, but I’ll give you a chance.” Ryo had looked downcast when Tatsuya had said that he couldn’t reciprocate his feelings, but perked up when Ryo heard that Tatsuya would give him a chance.

Out of excitement he reached up and kissed Tatsuya smack on the lips. “Five dates, that’s all I’m asking for.” He ran out the rooftop door will Tatsuya stood their stunned at Ryo’s brazenness. When the door opened up, Tatsuya swore that he saw a sliver of Yoko’s face watching the entire exchange.

“What the hell just happened?” Tatsuya wondered aloud as he made his way back down to the KAT-TUN dressing room.

The next day, Ryo greeted him with a bunch of flowers and waited for him after work. “You look nice today.” Tatsuya narrowed his eyes suspiciously, “Thanks. I’m not a girl.” Tatsuya said glaring at the flowers to which Ryo hurriedly tossed them in the nearest trash can.

“So where are we going?” Tatsuya asked.

“I was thinking a restaurant.” Ryo said and looked down shyly.

“Really, you couldn’t be more creative?” Tatsuya asked teasingly and Ryo flushed a bright red.

“If you don’t like that idea, we could always go somewhere else.” Ryo said embarrassed that his idea was being rejected.

“I’m just kidding.” Tatsuya looked over to Ryo and smiled. “A dinner would be great.” Ryo smiled back and felt his heart flutter seeing the smile that the man he loved had and moreover it was directed at him. Ryo took him to an Italian restaurant tucked away in a corner of Tokyo that very few people knew about.

“I’ve never been here before.” Tatsuya said as the entered the restaurant, “It’s adorable.” With the red and white checkered tablecloths on each table, Tatsuya felt as though they had been transported to a New York pizzeria with the casual décor and the friendly atmosphere. They were ushered to a table in the sparsely populated restaurant and Tatsuya poured over the menu. Ryo surreptitiously snuck glances at Tatsuya and seeing him so closely he noticed how his eyelashes fluttered as he blinked and how his eyes scanned the menu determinedly.

“Is there something on my face?” Tatsuya asked when he caught Ryo staring at him.

“No, sorry.” Ryo looked down and suddenly found his menu incredibly interesting.

After they ordered, they found themselves consumed in animated conversation and though Tatsuya would never admit it he found himself enjoying it.

            “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Tatsuya said as he waved goodbye awkwardly to Ryo.

            “Wait, let me walk you home.” Ryo announced and walked along side Tatsuya until they arrived at his apartment which conveniently was nearby. As they stood on the porch step, Tatsuya fished out a key.

            “Well, goodnight.” He said and motioned to enter the apartment until Ryo’s arm jutted out and he stopped him.

            “Wait,” Tatsuya saw Ryo lean forward and gently put a hand on his shoulder. He closed his eyes and pursed his lips and waited until they made contact with Tatsuya’s own. But instead, they made contact with something else. Ryo, confused, opened his eyes and saw that instead of Tatsuya’s lips pressing against his, it was his finger.

            “Sorry, I don’t kiss on the first date.” It was a blatant lie, but Tatsuya figured it couldn’t hurt. Ryo frowned, but nevertheless stepped away and plastered a smile on his face. “Well, anyways, I had a fun time today, I hope you did too. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Ryo waved goodbye and Tatsuya blinked at the complete 180 degree shift that Ryo seemed to have made.

            The next day, Tatsuya walked into the dressing room and found a stuffed animal in his area, what the hell. Although, he hated to admit it, it was kind of cute. On the teddy bear’s lap was a note that said.

            I love you Tatsuya!!!!

            Tatsuya might have found it cute, had it been written in Ryo’s handwriting, except it wasn’t: it was Yoko’s.

            Tatsuya, bear in hand, walked to the Kanjani8 dressing room and opened the door. “A bear, really?” Ryo stared blankly at Tatsuya, and Tatsuya tossed the bear to Yoko.

            “Don’t make stuff up for him, because it’s not working.” As quickly as he had entered, he left leaving Ryo to question Yoko about what he’d done. It wasn’t like Tatsuya actually minded, and he knew that Ryo probably had no idea that Yoko had plotted something behind his back, but he figured he could ruffle Ryo’s feathers.

            After practice was over, Tatsuya saw Ryo waiting for him outside of the KAT-TUN dressing room. “Sorry about Yoko,” Tatsuya shrugged.

            “What’s your plan to sweep me off my feet today?” Tatsuya asked sarcastically.

            “I’m a little tired, so I was thinking dinner and a movie at my place.”

            “Already trying to get me in your bed.” Ryo frowned and blushed, and although Tatsuya knew that he was close to the mark, he had probably taken the joke too far.

            “Sorry,” Tatsuya said. They walked uncomfortably in silence until they reached Ryo’s apartment. Ryo led Tatsuya up to his apartment and when he entered, Tatsuya marveled at the place. It wasn’t like he had expected; with Leah Dizon posters all over and tacky decorations, but instead he was pleasantly surprised.

            Ryo headed for the kitchen and started making pasta, and Tatsuya found himself joining the other “What can I do to help?” The two ended up cutting vegetables and laughing together, and for the first time, Tatsuya could actually see them together. Over dinner, they talked about the Jimusho and some of their likes and dislikes and after they were done cleaning up they sat down on the couch and watched the movie that Ryo had selected.

            At first, they had an obvious distance between them, but throughout the movie, Ryo’s hand slowly wandered towards Tatsuya until their fingers were almost touching. Looking at Ryo’s face that was turned towards the television, Tatsuya saw a blush cover his cheeks and thought He’s shy. Tatsuya smirked and leaned over, pulling Ryo’s face towards him and kiss him squarely on the lips.

            “At the pace you’re going, you’re never going to have sex with me,” Tatsuya teased..

            Ryo looked at him and leaned in once more for a kiss, playing with Tatsuya’s tongue and exploring the inside of his mouth. At first it was a bit sloppy, but slowly it became passionate, so much so, that Ryo whispered, “Let’s go to the bedroom.”

            Ryo led him to the bedroom and Tatsuya hurriedly stripped Ryo of his clothing pressing him against the bed. When Ryo lay there completely exposed with a noticeable erection. Tatsuya  pulled back. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

            “Are you serious?” Ryo asked incredulously.

            “Please, I’m not an easy lay.” Tatsuya smirked and walked out of the apartment leaving Ryo naked and stunned on the bed.

            Outside Tatsuya hailed a cab, praying that the driver wouldn’t notice his own erection semi-concealed by his pants and hurried home to relieve himself.

            Coincidentally, both groups had the day off the next day so Ryo headed over to Tatsuya’s house early in the morning. He was still a bit pissed off over what had happened the night before, but pushed that aside.

            “Come on.” Ryo greeted as they headed to his car. “We’re going to an amusement park today.”

            “What are we? Sixteen.” Tatsuya grumbled but nevertheless obliged. When they arrived at the amusement park, they grabbed a map and plotted an itinerary, and neither one noticed the six pairs of eyes that followed their every move.

            After a ride on the merry-go-round, Ryo looked a little ill so Tatsuya separated to get him a drink. In line, he soon found himself surrounded by six men. “So what do you think about Ryo?” Hina asked anxiously.

            “I think he got sick on the Merry-go-round.” Tatsuya replied dryly.

            “Are you going to continue to date him after the five dates are done?” Yasu piped up.

            “I don’t know.” It was the truth, though Tatsuya had had a fun time, he couldn’t help but remember all of the things that Ryo had done to him.

            “Give him a chance, please, because he really does love you.” That was Yoko.

            “I better go back before he begins to wonder where I’m at.” Tatsuya brushed past them after receiving the drink and headed back to Ryo who looked a little less peaked.

            “Feeling better?” Tatsuya asked, and offered the bottle of water to Ryo which he gratefully accepted.

            “Much, thanks. How embarrassing is it that I got sick on the merry-go-round?”

            “Very,” Tatsuya smirked and seeing Ryo’s crestfallen face, he added, “but I think it’s kind of cute too.” They went on a few more rides until it became sunset and Ryo suggested, “What about one last ride on the Ferris wheel?” The line wasn’t that long, and Tatsuya knew that it was the quintessential romantic spot in an amusement park. They entered the little cabin and sat down next to each other. When the Ferris wheel lurched forward, Tatsuya jumped and reached for Ryo’s hand. Ryo chuckled but gently held it in his own. When they got to the top, Ryo leaned forward and gently, timidly kissed Tatsuya and Tatsuya kissed him back. Unlike their first kiss, it wasn’t passionate or aggressive, but sweet and tender.

            “I love you, Tatsuya.” Ryo confessed and hearing the words from his mouth, not from a letter that Yoko probably wrote, Tatsuya knew that he was telling the truth.

            “I know.” He replied. They continued to kiss until the ride ended and it stopped.

            “Tomorrow, my place?” Tatsuya asked and Ryo beamed like Tatsuya had never seen before.

            “I’ll be there.”

            The next day, as Tatsuya was walking through the Jimusho he overheard a conversation that Ryo was having with Pi.

            “Are you serious? You want to date Tatsuya?” Hearing his name, Tatsuya stilled and hid behind the door.

            “Yeah, Pi. I really like him.” Ryo said, and hearing that brought a smile to Tatsuya’s face.

            “But he loves Gackt, is a little weird, and frankly I don’t think that you two are compatible.”
            The smile was wiped off Tatsuya’s face.

            “We have a lot in common.” Ryo said.

            “But for each thing you have in common, there are fifteen other things about you two that are different.” Tatsuya knew that Pi had a point. That was the reason that they had fought so much as Juniors: because they were so inherently different. He left saddened by what Pi said but figured that he’d talk it over with Ryo at his place.

            Waiting for Ryo, he remembered their countless fights over nothing and everything and realized that though they had commonalities, they had too many differences.

            Ryo came over and seeing the look on Tatsuya’s face made him freeze.

            “What’s going on?” Ryo asked cautiously.

            “I think we should stop this.”

            “What?! Why?! You promise five dates and this is only the fourth.”

            “I overheard your conversation with Pi, today.” Tatsuya said sadly.

            “I’m really sorry about what he said about you.” Ryo apologized, but in Tatsuya’s mind there was nothing to apologize for.

            “He’s right though. We are just too different people. Do you remember when we were Juniors how we would fight every time we saw each other, it just proves how different we are.”

            “Are you kidding me?” Ryo nearly exploded. “We were teenagers, we were immature, I liked to pick fights with you. But we’re adults now, we’ve changed, we’ve grown up.”

            “Maybe, but I don’t want us to go back to that. I don’t want us to end up hating each other because I really like you.”

            “You like me but you don’t love me.” Ryo said and stood up. “Forget it, don’t worry about the fifth date, just forget about all of it.” But as the days passed, Tatsuya couldn’t forget about it; or rather, he just didn’t want to.

            He’d pass Ryo in the hall and all he wanted to do was hug him and cheer him up but he couldn’t. Seeing Ryo depressed made his heart ache, but he was paralyzed because they were just too different of people for it to work. But he knew what he was feeling: love.

            “You look depressed.” Kame told him one day at work.

            “I fell in love with someone, but we are completely two different people and I just don’t think it would work out.”

            “Sometimes different people get along better than people who are similar. Look at me and Koki, who would’ve guessed that we’d ever be together, but even though we are different, above all else we love each other.”

            “So you think that I should give it a try?” Tatsuya asked.

            “I think if you love him like you say you do you’ll regret it if you don’t.” Tatsuya smiled, the first genuine smile in a few days and thanked Kame.

            He hurried out to a nearby store and bought a few things and rushed back to the Jimusho praying that Ryo hadn’t left yet.

            He headed straight for the Kanjani8 dressing room and smiled when he realized that nobody was there. He found Ryo’s jacket and quietly placed the bouquet of flowers on the table in front of it and fluffed the stuffed bear up. In the bear’s hands he put the handwritten note and hid outside until Kanjani finished their practice.

            “He totally stole my ideas!” Tatsuya heard Yoko yell. And after a few minutes he heard footsteps pounding outside. Peering from his hiding place he saw it was Ryo and came out looking at him nervously.

            “So how about our fifth date?” Tatsuya smiled, but his nerves showed.

            “And a sixth? And a seventh?” Ryo asked cautiously to which Tatsuya could only nod.

            “If you want.”

            “Was it true what you said in the letter?” Tatsuya smiled and nodded. “I love you, and I know that we are different, but I love you regardless.”

            “It’s kind of lame confessing in a letter.” Ryo teased as he embraced Tatsuya.

            “You did it first.” Tatsuya retorted as smiled as he reached up to kiss Ryo, knowing that this fifth date would definitely not be their last.


AN: Please drop a comment and if there is anything you'd like to read please let me know in my request post.

Mistakes From the Past Chapter 3

Pairing: RyoUchi, Ryoda
Genre: Drama, Angst, Romance 
Rating: PG-13 suggestive 
Disclaimer: I don't own them   
Summary: What if every decision, every relationship, every career move was based off of one incident? What if you swore that you knew that truth about what had happened that night? What if you were wrong? And if you were what would you do to rectify it?

           Ryo opened the door to his apartment and trudged in still confused about what had happened. “Okaeri.” A voice called out and jolted Ryo out of his reverie. “Tadaima,” Ryo mumbled and hung his coat up embracing the man who immediately bounded into his arms and reached up to kiss his cheek. Sensing Ryo’s hesitancy, the other man pulled back. “What’s wrong?”

                Ryo sighed and shook his head, “I had a weird conversation today, Tatsuya.”

                “Well you’re home and you can forget about it.” Tatsuya gently roamed his hands over Ryo’s chest, pulling down his jacket’s zipper and removed the leather jacket from his shoulders. Tatsuya bit his lip in the way that Ryo found to be so sexy and his hands lowered to reach the hemline of Ryo’s T-shirt. Walking backwards, Tatsuya led Ryo to their bedroom and pulled the T-shirt over Ryo’s head, leaving him bare chested.

                Tatsuya grinned and leaned forward, kissing Ryo and running his tongue along Ryo’s lips to coax him to deepen the kiss, but he didn’t. His hands began to run over Ryo’s body feeling the ripples of muscle, but Ryo didn’t make any motion to continue. In fact, when Tatsuya pulled back, Ryo looked like he wasn’t even there.

                “Let’s stop.” Tatsuya suggested as he collapsed on the bed.

                “I’m sorry, I’m just distracted today.” Ryo apologized and put his shirt back and lay next to Tatsuya.

                “Forget about it.” Tatsuya reached up and gently stroked Ryo’s cheek. “Do you want to talk about it?”

                Ryo sat up and ran a hand through his hair. “You know how Uchi was kicked out of Kanjani8 and NEWS after….” Ryo trailed off and hearing this, Tatsuya knew that it was something serious. In the four years of being together, Ryo had never once mentioned Uchi; it was the subject that they never talked about, but today something must have happened for Ryo to bring up the subject.

                Tatsuya sat upright and looked Ryo directly in the eye. “That happened seven years ago. What’s going on?” Tatsuya worried. He had never told Ryo this, but a part of him had always wondered if they had ever been more than friends. When they were still in the same bands together, Ryo and Uchi were nearly inseperable, and though Ueda would never say this to anyone, he was secretly glad that Uchi had been kicked out because if he hadn’t, who knows if Tatsuya and Ryo would have even become friends.

                “I met with the reporter today who wrote the article about Uchi, and he suggested…, he alluded that there was more to the story than everyone knew. So I went to visit Uchi after work today and we talked and I asked him point blank if there was anything that we didn’t know about what had happened and he said there was nothing more. But the thing is it seemed like he was hiding something, and I don’t know what it is.”

                “Or, there might be nothing more than he got drunk, was caught, and then had to face the consequences.”

                “But I think there’s more.”

                “There might be, but why does it even matter anymore? It happened seven years ago, and I didn’t think that you were even friends anymore.”

                “It matters to me.” Ryo snapped and jumped off the bed glaring accusingly at Tatsuya who looked at him with wide eyes. “Sorry, but I need to know what happened that night. Sorry, let’s just go to bed.” He suggested and Tatsuya nodded stunned by the sudden outburst of Ryo’s temper.

                After getting changed, Tatsuya curled up against Ryo and felt his breathing even out as he succumbed to sleep, but he remembered feeling his heart clench at the thought of Uchi being back in the picture. Why now?

                When they woke up the next morning, Ryo headed for the kitchen to cook breakfast, still feeling bad for having snapped at Tatsuya the night before. When Tatsuya came out from showering he was surprised at the spread of bacon, eggs and toast that Ryo had made. Ryo only cooked a Western style breakfast when he felt really guilty.

                “I’m headed to the reporter’s office today.” Ryo announced and Tatsuya looked at him.

                “Listen Ryo, I know you’re determined, but I don’t think that you should look further into this.”

                “Why? Do you know what happened?” Ryo’s voice grew louder and Tatsuya sensed that he was trying to control himself.

                “No, I don’t know what happened. But if Uchi wanted you to know, there were plenty of opportunities where he could have told you, so I don’t think he wants you to know.”

                “Tatsuya, I have to find out.” Ryo said.

                “Please Ryo, drop this for me.” Tatsuya pleaded with him and looked at his meal. Even though Tatsuya had never talked about Uchi, Ryo had known that he had been jealous of the other man.

                “Tatsuya, I need to know, I’m sorry. But I promise that nothing will ever change between us.” Ryo promised and smiled at Tatsuya, and Tatsuya nodded in reply knowing that when Ryo promised something, he always kept it.

                But neither of them could imagine that the truth would be so shocking, and so divisive that they were never going to be the same again.

                Tatsuya had to head out first so he kissed Ryo goodbye and headed out. Shortly thereafter, Ryo left as well and headed towards the Japan Times’s office. When he walked into the large building, the receptionists automatically recognized him and began to whisper as he walked in. “I’m here to see Hirano Yoshiyuki.” He announced.

                “I’m sorry, but do you have an appointment?” One receptionist asked.

                “No, but if you call him, he’ll want to see me.” Ryo said, banking on the fact that the reporter had seemed so interested in him the day before.

                Ryo breathed a sigh of relief after the receptionist called up to his office, and he consented to letting Ryo in.

               Ryo rode the elevator up three floors and walked around until his found the nameplate of Hirano Yoshiyuki’s office.

                “Please come in,” Yoshiyuki said courteously as he held open the door for the Japanese celebrity.

                “I’m willing to make a deal with you,” Ryo said as he sat down in the chair across from the reporter. “I’ll give you an exclusive interview for my next drama, if you’ll tell me the truth of that night.”

                “Nishikido-san, with all due respect, I don’t think that I should be the one to tell you.”

                “I went to Uchi last night, and he wouldn’t tell me, he’d barely even look at me.”

                “Is that really a surprise?” The reporter wondered aloud. “Do you even have the authority to guarantee me an interview?” He asked and Ryo’s eyes narrowed.

                “I promise you, if you answer my questions I will give it to you.”

                “One last thing, before I agree, why do you care to know what happened one night seven years ago?” The reporter asked the same thing that Tatsuya had asked earlier.

                “The last seven years of my life have revolved around that one night. You can’t imagine the number of times that I asked myself “why?” But I ruined my friendship over that night. My life changed that night, and I need to know the truth because I can’t justify what happened in the last seven years without knowing the truth.”

                The reporter glanced at his phone, remembering the conversation that he had had the previous night, but getting an exclusive interview with one of Japan’s most popular celebrities was tempting and in the end his ambition won out.

                “I’ll tell you everything I know, but there are some holes, and if you want to know them, you’d have to ask Uchi.”


                “And I have some theories that fill in the gaps, but I’m not going to tell you them. I’m only going to tell you what I know.”                

                “Okay.” Ryo answered.

                An hour and a half later. Ryo looked blankly at the reporter. “Why?” Ryo asked. “I don’t know.” Yoshiyuki responded carefully watching the man who looked as pale as a ghost.

                “Are you sure?” Ryo asked.

                “I’m positive.”

                Ryo buried his face in his hands and his shoulders shook and Yoshiyuki felt an incredible sense of empathy for the vulnerable man that seemed so different from the person that he had interviewed just a day ago.

                “Thank you for being honest.” Ryo bowed, and swiped at his eyes though he couldn’t get rid of the red circles around them.

                The reporter bowed slightly and watched Ryo leave. And as Ryo walked out he replayed the entire conversation in his head and bit his lip trying not to cry as guilt consumed him and he wondered to himself how he’d be able to talk to Uchi, much less look at him after everything that he had been told.

Mistakes from the Past Chapter 2
Pairing: RyoUchi
Rating: PG language (will get higher)
Genre: Drama, Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: Don't own them, duh
Summary: What if every decision, every relationship, every career move was based off of one incident? What if you swore that you knew that truth about what had happened that night? What if you were wrong? And if you were what would you do to rectify it?

                “I’m coming,” Uchi yelled as he headed to the door. The doorbell had been ringing and the person on the outside of the door had kept knocking. Initially, Uchi thought it was just another salesman who would go away after a couple of minutes, but the noise kept continuing.

                Without bothering to peer out the keyhole, Uchi opened to door. His mouth dropped when he saw that it wasn’t a salesman like he had thought, but instead it was Ryo. Ryo stood there blankly and for a few minutes neither said anything or made any gesture.

                Uchi’s mind was going through everything. The rejection that he had faced from Ryo in the past few years, the futile efforts that he made for Ryo to listen to him, and nothing worked. Shaking himself out of it, Uchi moved out of the doorframe and stood to the side. “Would you like to come in?” Ryo only nodded and entered the humble apartment. He kicked off his shoes and looked around, it was the same apartment that Uchi had lived in all these years since he had moved out of his parents’ home.

                Ryo ghostly walked into the living room and under the illumination of room’s lighting, Uchi noticed that Ryo looked pale and drawn.

                “We need to talk.” Ryo said as he sat down on the couch.

                “I don’t think that there is very much to talk about.” Uchi said in a clipped tone.

                “What happened?” Ryo asked.

                “I drank, I was caught, it was published and I was suspended.” Uchi replied, but it was too perfect, too terse, too artificial, and Ryo didn’t miss this. It seemed like something that a Johnny’s manager would have created, or maybe it was just a mechanism to protect himself after years and years of retelling the story.

                “I think there’s something else.” Ryo said.

               “You’re wrong.” Uchi snapped back and Ryo flinched at the way his friend, or maybe former friend now, was acting.

                “I met with the reporter that leaked your story, and he implied that there was something that happened all those years ago that should have kept us being friends.” Ryo looked at Uchi.

                Uchi blinked and Ryo could have sworn that there was something in his eyes. “He probably just meant that we should have continued to be friends even though I was no longer a member of the group. That’s what friendship is, it doesn’t matter what happens or if someone loses their job, it is supposed to be above everything else.”

                Ryo shrank backwards and found himself in the position that he usually forced others into. Although Uchi spoke calmly and never raised his voice, Ryo noticed that there was anger and hurt and pushed his words forward.

                “Look, Uchi, I’m so-”.

                “It’s fine.” Uchi interrupted him and stood up. “It’s getting late, so I think you should go home.” Uchi said tersely and ushered Ryo out of his apartment.

                Shutting the door, Uchi slid down it and sighed. He buried his face in his hands. He had imagined Ryo seeking him out for years and imagined what their conversation would be like and it certainly didn’t play out in his mind in the same manner that the events had unfolded in his apartment a few minutes ago. He knew that he was harsh and that was from the pain of the raw wounds that had never seemed to have healed over from Ryo’s rejection, from the loss of Ryo’s friendship, but even more than that he needed Ryo to stop looking.

                The look that Ryo had had in his eye was one of determination and Uchi knew better than anyone else that when Ryo was determined nothing would stop him. And even though he had adamantly denied that there was more to the story of what had happened all those years ago, he wasn’t convinced that that would satisfy Ryo’s curiosity.

                Uchi moved to his bedroom and opened the dresser drawer, flipping through a few items of clothing until his fingers hit the wooden bottom and made contact with a small slip of paper. He pulled it out careful not to bend it and reached for his cell phone, dialing the number that was written on it. It had been years since he had last called the number so he had hoped that the cell phone was still in use, and after a few rings a voice on the other end answered.


                “You said that nobody would find out.” Uchi hissed disregarding any phone decorum.

                “It was an accident. I thought you had told him.” The other voice said.

                “I didn’t. I didn’t tell anybody.”

                “That must be hard for you.”

                “Shut up. If Nishikido comes to you don’t tell him anything.”

                “Okay, Uchi, I promise.”

“He’ll get hurt.” And even though there was some kind of oral agreement, Uchi still doubted that the other man would keep his word. But he needed him to, because if Ryo ever found out nothing would be the same.

When Ryo walked out, or was forced out of Uchi’s apartment, he felt hurt. Uchi had never talked about what had happened between them, and Ryo had naively thought that things could be normal once he was ready to talk, but Uchi’s reaction had proved him wrong.  

It reminded him that after all these years, he didn’t really know Uchi anymore, and frankly they were no different than strangers. But what Ryo did know, even after all this time was though Uchi denied anything, he was lying. The look in his eye told Ryo everything. It was the look Uchi had went he was hiding something, and  Ryo swore that he would find out whatever Uchi was hiding.  

Mistakes from the Past Chapter 1
Pairing: RyoUchi
Rating: PG language (will get higher)
Genre: Drama, Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: Don't own them, duh
Summary: What if every decision, every relationship, every career move was based off of one incident? What if you swore that you knew that truth about what had happened that night? What if you were wrong? And if you were what would you do to rectify it?

            Ryo walked down the hallway with his head bent. He hated venturing into the junior areas for fear of seeing Uchi again. A few kouhai approached him and chatted to him to which he politely responded, but a large part of him was glad that Uchi wasn’t one of them. He shouldn’t be surprised, Uchi never really approached him anymore after having tried for over a year, but nevertheless he still kept his guard up.

            It was sad really, now, when they’d pass each other in the halls neither said a word. Occasionally Uchi would give him a head nod, but other than that they really didn’t acknowledge each other. That’s not to say that Ryo didn’t think of him or miss him, but there were too many emotions and too many things left unsaid.

            Seeing Uchi’s face reminded him of the guilt he had felt at seeing his friend’s career die while his rose. He felt ashamed because he knew that less than a week before the article had been published he had been drinking underage and he knew that he could have easily ended up in Uchi’s position. But above all else, he felt horror at his reaction afterwards. When Uchi needed him most, he left his friend’s side to obey management’s orders and he ignored him.

            The never really had a falling out, but it was more along the lines that after not speaking to each other and ignoring each other, at least on Ryo’s part, that had become the new normal. Ryo didn’t know if he wanted to even salvage the friendship now, or if it was even salvageable, but if he did, he didn’t even know where to begin. All he knew was that Uchi had once been the most important part of his life, and now he wasn’t even in it.

            “Ryo, we have an interview at noon.” Maru reminded him as he passed him in the halls. Ryo nodded and smiled, but the smile was forced. The person who was interviewing them was the same one who had written the article about Uchi. Over the years Ryo had avoided having interviews with him, but this time it was inescapable. He was one of the most widely appreciated journalists and for Kanjani8’s eighth anniversary celebrations, Johnny insisted on having coverage from the best of the best much to Ryo’s chagrin.

            When Ryo made his way into the room where the interview was to take place, almost all of the other members of Kanjani8 were already seated and had polite, but tense smiles on their faces. Nobody was too thrilled about the man that they would be interviewing with, but the biggest cause of concern was Ryo unleashing his ‘poison tongue’ on the interviewer. When Yoko finally entered, the interviewer pulled out a tape recorder and set it on the table.

            “I’m Hirano Yoshiyuki, nice to meet you. I figure we can start off with a group interview and then go into individual ones later if that’s alright?” The question was pointless since nobody would dare contradict the interviewer.

            He started with a few banal questions about upcoming group projects and what the eighth anniversary meant to them and for this they allowed Yoko and Hina to do the majority of the talking of course the others piped in here and there, and eventually everyone spoke except Ryo who sullenly sat in his chair and willed himself to do whatever he could not to stare at the man.

            “It’s kind of weird, don’t you think, that you still call yourself Kanjani8 with only seven members.” The interviewer mused and something in Ryo snapped. “The number doesn’t matter. Our spirit has not changed in eight years, neither has our ambition. We started off as Kanjani8 and that is how we will continue as Kanjani8.” The other members looked at him slightly stunned by his outburst, but all nodded in agreement.

            They broke off and the interviewer opted to interview them in a separate room while the others waited.

            Yoko and Hina confronted Ryo as he sat on the couch and said, “Ryo, you have to keep your emotions under control. I know you don’t like this guy, and believe me we hate what he did to Uchi, but just give him the answers he wants to hear and then you’ll be done.”

            When Yasu returned and called Ryo he grudgingly walked a few doors down and opened the door to see the interviewer waiting expectantly.

            “Let’s get down to business, what you said earlier about Kanjani8 still being Kanjani8, does that mean that you still consider Uchi to be a part of the group.”

            Ryo inhaled and stiffened. “Uchi was removed from the group years ago.”

            “Yes, that was the official statement, but what do you think.”

            “He made a decision that had consequences and unfortunately that was cause for his dismissal, but until he says he no longer wants to be a part of Kanjani8, he’s still a part of it.” Ryo’s voice escalated and by the end of it he was standing up glaring at the interviewer to just looked at him.

            Ryo surprised himself even with the passion that he exuded in justifying Uchi’s actions, almost too strong for somebody that he was no longer friends with.

            “So even though you are no longer in the same bands, you are obviously very close.”

            “Not really.” Ryo murmured ashamed of the fact that it was true and it was his fault.

            He didn’t say it loudly, but just loud enough that the interviewer heard it. “Shame.”

            “What?” Ryo asked challenging the man to judge him.

            “After everything that he sacrificed for you, it’s a shame that you are no longer friends.”

            “What the hell are you talking about?” Ryo’s face was a look of sheer confusion.

            “You don’t know about it…” Yoshiyuki clasped a hand over his mouth in realization. “Nevermind.”

            “Tell me.” Ryo demanded furiously, and though he was short, he appeared much more intimidating that one could ever think.

            “I don’t think I should be the one to tell you. I think that this is something that you need to hear from Uchi.” Ryo set his jaw and replied to a few other questions that weren’t as loaded as the Uchi ones.

            On the way out, most of the others had already left but Yoko and Hina were waiting for him in the other room. Silently, Ryo grabbed his jacket and strode out the door. “What the fuck happened?” Yoko asked seeing Ryo’s determined face, and frankly he just looked pissed off.

            “Seven years ago, something happened with Uchi, you know don’t you?” Ryo hissed catching the other two off guard.

            “Ryo, what are you talking about?” Hina asked and seeing the clueless looks that they shared Ryo knew that they were just as in the dark as he was.

            “Nevermind. I need to talk to Uchi.”

Full Circle
Pairing: Jun/Toma, Ohmiya (side, very small), Ohno/Matsumoto/Ninomiya (friendship)
Genre: Angst, Romance, Fluff
Rating: PG-13 language
Note: Sequel to I'll Always Come Back to You Part 1 Part 2, but could be read as a stand along
Summary: Jun had screwed up, but after all these years there was still one person he could never get over: Toma.

            “Hi Jun,” Jun smiled as he looked down at the man waiting for him at the table.

            “Hello, Toma” Jun greeted back. It was weird how they acted around each other after so long. It was weird almost too proper for people who had dated for five years before and had had a terrible break up.

            Jun sat down and Toma twirled his finger around the rim of the coffee cup that he was holding. Jun looked at the man in front of him and smiled. “You haven’t changed at all.” Jun said. Toma still had his awkward haircut and still had an affinity for flannel shirts and jeans.

            “God, I hope I’ve changed,” Toma laughed, but there was a seriousness behind his jovial tone. The conversation died down and they were met with an awkward silence.

            “To be honest, I was surprised that you called me. We haven’t talked in years. I didn’t even think that you still had my number.” Toma said.

            Of course I still had your number, I’ve called you countless times from payphones before just to hear your voice. That was what Jun wanted to say, but he couldn’t. Maybe it was his pride or his general sense of the discomfort of Toma, but Jun just said, “I figured I’d give an old friend a call.”

            It wasn’t the right thing to say, Jun knew and when Toma flinched at being referred to as ‘an old friend’ Jun wanted to take it back, but he couldn’t.

            “So how’s it going with Ninomiya-san?” Toma asked and Jun was startled. Toma shouldn’t have known about Ninomiya, but then again there was a time when they were plastered on every billboard in Tokyo.

            “We broke up about two years ago.” Toma blushed at his mistake.

            “I’m sorry.” He apologized in the general post-breakup protocol.

            “I’m not.” Jun said. They dove into silence once more. “I missed you.” Perhaps that was the most honest thing that Jun had said in a long time, but it instantly made Toma uncomfortable.

            “Stop. Let’s not do this.” Toma squirmed under Jun’s gaze, but Jun pressed on.

            “Why? Do you have a boyfriend?” He asked.

            “That’s not the point. We’re over, we’ve been over for four years now.”

            “I’m not asking for anything serious,” Jun said cheekily. “We used to be really good together.”

            “Just stop Jun. You’re making things worse.” Toma said and stood up. “It was nice to see you again.” But the sincerity was lost.

            Jun held his head in his hands and sighed. He had screwed up. Not just screwed up but completely blown it. Everything that he had envisioned saying had been lost on his tongue and instead he made it seem like Toma was just a random fuck. Jun wanted more, so much more, but he couldn’t convey that, and now, he probably didn’t even have the right to.

            When he left the café, he checked his phone and saw several messages from Ohno and Nino asking how the meeting went. He texted them back solely with “I blew it.” And headed home.

            He envied them. They were able to patch things up and repair their broken relationship and now they were closer than ever. He walked into the empty apartment and sighed. After he moved out of the apartment that he had previously shared with Nino, he moved out on his own. Of course there had been a few random hookups and one-night stands, but it was never anything serious. Even though he didn’t want to admit it, seeing Ohno and Nino together made him envious. He wanted that. He wanted to come home to somebody who would say “Okaeri,” someone who he knew was going to be there in the morning when he woke up.

            He knew who he wanted it to be too. It was the person that once, a long time ago, he had had it with. But he threw it all away. Toma’s reaction shouldn’t have been surprising but it still stung. In his mind, he imagined everything going perfectly, saying the things that he should have said and Toma agreeing, but that was just idealistic thinking.

            Jun collapsed on his bed and felt the coldness of being single.

            “I love you, Jun.” Toma said as he pushed a piece of hair away from Jun’s face.

            Jun smiled and pressed a kiss on Toma’s lips as the cuddled in bed on a day off together.

            “I love you, too.” He gently stroked Toma’s bare arm and smiled at the man beside him. They had been together for over a year now, and Jun had never been happier.

            Now on the cold, empty bed, Jun crawled over to what was once Toma’s side of the bed and roped his arm over where Toma should have been. For a while, Nino had taken Toma’s place, if just in body and presence, but nobody could really replace Toma. Toma wasn’t somebody who could be replaced. If only Jun had realized that earlier.

            The next day on his way to work, he found himself taking a side trip to Toma’s workplace. Though the glass on the outside he saw Toma chatting animatedly with another one of his coworkers and Jun had to wonder if that was the man who had replaced him.

            For a split second he could have sworn that Toma saw him, but the minute they made eye contact or Jun thought they did, he resumed walking for fear of seeing Toma’s reaction. Would he be angry or would he just ignore him? Jun wasn’t sure what was worse and didn’t want to stick around to find out.

            When he got to the place where it was arranged for the photoshoot to take place, Nino approached him eagerly to find out how the meeting had gone the previous day. Jun knew that Nino and Ohno both had been the ones to give him the push to call up Toma, and Jun had never regretted a decision more, except maybe how they broke up in the first place.

            Jun just shook his head and that was all Nino needed to realize that the meeting had not gone as planned. Perhaps it had been too much for Nino to hope that they could get back together. “Come on, after work Satoshi and I will take you out for a few drinks, you look like you need one.” Or three.

            The photoshoot went off without a hitch and when Nino and Jun walked out together, they met up with Ohno and headed to the bar that had become their spot for the past three or so years.

            Jun had never fully explained to either of them what had happened between him and Toma, from the anecdotes that he had told them, they had gotten enough information to probably fill in the missing pieces but he had never told them why they’d broken up.

            While Nino and Ohno had ordered a few beers and paced themselves so as not to get drunk, Jun dove right in and ordered shot after shot to erase the scene that he had seen earlier in the day.

            “I still love him.” It was then that Nino and Ohno knew that he was completely drunk because Jun had never spoke so frankly with them. “Even when I was with you I think I was always in love with him.” Both Ohno and Nino bristled at the reference to the period of time when Nino was with Jun, but neither said anything.

            “You’re kind of cute.” Jun said shamelessly to the cashier as he waited to pay for his books. Immediately the other, Toma, or so his nametag read, flushed and cleared his throat trying to maintain a professional atmosphere. “That will be 1800 yen.” Jun offered the money and slid in his business card between the notes and winked. “Feel free to give me a call.”

            Toma pulled out the business card from the dollars that he put into the cash register, “I’ll be sure to do that. Have a nice day.” He said dryly.

            Jun had never expected a call from Toma after his reaction to getting his number but that all changed when his phone rang a few days later.

            “Hello,” Jun answered warily, not recognizing the number.

            “Hi, my name’s Yamashita Tomohisa, but everyone calls me Yamapi.”

            “Do I know you?” Jun asked.

            “Nope, but you know my friend, Toma, you even gave him your business card.” Toma. Jun blinked at hearing that name. “He’s really shy, but he wanted to meet up with you so I offered to call instead. Would you like to meet him for coffee?”
            Jun practically jumped off the sofa to grab a pen and nearly screamed into the phone, “I’d love to.”
            Yamapi gave him the name and time of the meeting that would take place in a coffee shop near Toma’s work and Jun hastily jotted down the information. Tomorrow.

            When Jun showed up the next day, he saw Toma sitting alone in the corner already nursing a hot cup of coffee.

            “It’s nice to see you again.” Jun said, “I didn’t think you’d be interested.”

            Toma looked up and frowned. “Are you stalking me?”

            Jun blinked, “No, some guy named Yamapi called and said you wanted to meet.” Toma swore under his breath, Pi had told him he wanted to meet at the café. Seeing Toma’s reaction, Jun looked down disappointed.

            “You didn’t want him to call did you?”

            “No.” Jun turned to leave, but there was something about the way his shoulders were hunched and his posture exuded sadness that made Toma continue, “But since you’re here, why don’t you have a cup of coffee with me?”

            Jun blinked and felt his heart leap with joy. He ordered a cup of coffee and sat down across from Toma, instantly striking up conversation. They talked about everything from their jobs, to Toma’s college life, to their hobbies and everything in between.

            “So is handing your number out to random guys your thing.” Toma asked chuckling after he began to feel more comfortable around Jun. 

            “No, to be honest I’d never done it before that day.”

            “Why me then?” Toma scrunched up his face, he was average at best and he had thought that Jun’s actions were only meant to tease him, but now, now he wasn’t sure.

            “Because you’re cute and you seemed like a good guy.”

            “That’s it?” Toma asked.

            “I don’t know how to explain it but yeah.” They continued talking and before either realized it, it was already dark outside.

            “I’m sorry about the mix up, but it was nice to talk with you. Have a nice life.” Jun turned to wave, but Toma shyly reached out and asked, “Is it okay if I maybe call that number that you gave me, again?”

            Jun beamed and it was then that Toma thought his smile was the most beautiful thing that he’d ever seen. “I’d like that a lot.”

            Though Pi had lied about Toma’s interest, he hadn’t lied about Toma being shy; it took him three days to muster up the courage to call Jun and ask to see him again. But though it was the first time he called, it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

            After a couple of times meeting, they were strolling around the park after dusk and Jun asked, “Will you be my boyfriend?” And it was only under the dim street lighting that Jun saw Toma’s cheeks flush. He stretched his hand out to intertwine his fingers with Jun’s and smiled. He didn’t need to say anything, it was enough.

            Two years later, they moved in together; Three years later, Jun was discovered by a modeling agency on a street corner and a week after that, he got his first job.

            As they were lying in bed, Jun cautiously brought up the subject to Toma. “What would you think about me if I was a model?” Toma laughed but when he turned to look at Jun, he saw the serious expression on his face and stifled his laughter.

            “Well, if it’s something that you really wanted to do, I’ll support you of course, I mean you’ll still be you, just with a different job, right?”

            Jun smiled and pulled Toma in for a kiss. “I love you.” Toma smiled.

            Shortly thereafter, Jun became somebody who now posed for magazines and was put on billboards around town. Toma had never imagined that Jun would become famous, but he was proud of his boyfriend.

            “Hey, so I was planning the trip to Okinawa that we said we always wanted to go on, I’ve already booked the hotel for two weekends from now since you said you’d be free and I was thinking that we could leave on Friday and come back Monday so you wouldn’t have to miss any work.”

            Jun looked chagrined at Toma, “Look I just got a really important job offer and it could change my career completely, so can we go some other time?”

            “But you said you’d be free and I already booked the hotel.”

            “God, Toma, stop being so selfish. I promise we’ll take another trip, but I can’t do it that weekend.”

            “Fine.” Toma didn’t even bother arguing since Jun had already made up his mind. Now a days, every time they made plans Jun’s work always seemed to force him to cancel and blow him off.

            One evening about a year later, Jun was getting changed and Toma watched from the doorway Jun put on the tuxedo that he had been given by his management. “Are we going out?” Toma asked, trying to remember if Jun had planned a date or told him about an event.

            “I have the promotional meeting.”

            “Shit, I forgot.” Toma didn’t remember Jun ever telling him that.

            “I didn’t tell you.”

            “Why not?”

            “It’s just better to go to these things alone, besides, you’d be bored.”

            “I can go, just wait a little while.” Toma insisted.

            “I don’t want you to go.” Jun said quietly, but loud enough for Toma to hear. “It’s harder to get jobs if you’re in a relationship and especially with an ordinary person.” Toma’s heart clenched at hearing that.

            “Are you ashamed of me?” He asked with tears springing to his eyes.

            “No, god, I have to go, we’ll talk about this later.” Jun left Toma there in the middle of their bedroom crying waiting for him to come back, but that night, Jun didn’t.

            A month later, it was their anniversary and Toma was waiting for Jun to come back home after a long day at work. Jun promised that he’d be home early, but it was already 10 o’clock and Jun didn’t even call to say he’d be late.

            Toma sat miserably at the kitchen table in front of the cold dinner and fell asleep. Around 4am, he was woken up by the sound of the door creaking open, and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

            “Jun…” He called out.

            “Sorry, I didn’t realize that you were still awake.”

            “Did you forget what the day was, yesterday?” Toma asked with hurt evident in his voice. Jun looked at Toma and then looked at the cold food on the table.

            “Shit, I completely forgot, some sempais invited me out and it was really important to go. I’m sorry I’ll make it up to you.”

            “Fuck it!” Toma yelled and Jun blinked in astonishment, it was odd for Toma to swear or even raise his voice. “Do you even care about me anymore? You always push me aside for work and I know I said I’d support you, but I hate to always be your second priority to some job.”

            Jun looked down feeling guilty. “I’m sorry, I’ll change, I promise, let’s go to bed and we can talk about it in the morning.”

            Jun wrapped an arm around Toma who radiated hurt, anger, sadness, and led him to bed, but when he woke up the next morning Toma was gone. And all that was left was a simple note.


            I guess somewhere along the line you stopped caring about me and your job became more important than us. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t be second best and staying up at night wondering if you still love me, or are faithful to me, or who you are with. I can’t be like that anymore.

            Have a nice life,


            Tears streamed down Jun’s face a he realized it was over. He wouldn’t be able to change because Toma didn’t give him a chance. Or maybe he already gave him countless chances and Jun blew it each time. But whether it was pride or guilt, Jun never called Toma’s phone.

            Jun finally looked up at saw a misty eyed Ohno and a stunned Nino looking at him. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Nino asked.

            “I know, but seeing you together reminded me of what we could have been, and I wanted to see him again and prove that I’ve changed.”

            “Did you cheat on him?” Ohno spoke up.

            “No!” Jun pleaded, “I never cheated on him, but I don’t know how to get him back or even if I can.”

            “Come on, we’re taking you home.” Nino said, and the other two were sober enough to help Jun out of the bar and take him back to his apartment, but not before Nino looked at his phone and jotted down a number.

            Two days later, Nino found himself sitting in a restaurant anxiously awaiting somebody. When the door opened and he saw a man who was kind of short look around expectantly, Nino stood up and asked, “Ano… Toma-san?” Toma’s eyes widened as he recognized the model who greeted him.

            “I’m Toma Ikuta.” He bowed politely and Nino did the same.

            “I’m Jun’s friend. Yesterday he told me and my boyfriend about what happened between you two.”

            “So you know everything?” Toma asked.

            “Almost everything. Jun did some shitty things to you and I understand if you won’t give him another chance, but I think you should at least talk to him.” 

            “He hurt me, he threw me away.” Toma’s voice rose, “he cheated on me and you expect me to give him another chance?”

            “He didn’t cheat on you.”


            “He never cheated. Just think about it.” Nino waved and left an utterly confused Toma in the middle of the restaurant surrounded by the stares of other people.

“Hello” Jun answered his phone.

“I hate you, you’re a bastard.” Slurred speech mixed with giggling was heard on the opposite of the line.

Jun pulled away from the phone to look at the caller ID and it was Toma. “Toma. Are you drunk?”
            “Yeah, and it’s all your fault.”

“Where are you I’ll come and get you?”

Toma slurred the name of a bar that fortunately Jun had heard of, and grabbed his coat to get Toma. At the bar, the sight that awaited him was not a pretty one. Toma was leaning on the bar half off the stool mumbling something that was inaudible.

“Come on.” Jun looped on of Toma’s arms over his shoulders and helped him walk out of the bar and stumbled into his car.

“I hate you.” Toma repeated over and over again and all Jun could say was, “I know.”

He was unsure of where the other one was living so he took him back to his apartment and lay him down on his bed while he took the couch.

The next morning, Jun called in while he waited for Toma to wake up. When Toma finally did come out of his room he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked stunned at Jun who was waiting for him in the kitchen.

“I didn’t want to wake you up so I got bagels.” Jun held up the box of bagels that he had had delivered and held out a few aspirin for Toma’s hangover.

“You still live here.” Toma said.

“I moved out for a little while, but I never stopped renting it. I, I couldn’t leave all of the memories here because that was all I had left of you.”

“You don’t get to do this, you cheated on me.” Toma hissed.

“I never cheated on you and I’m sorry I made you doubt me and you have every right to think that way, but the nights that I didn’t come home, I never, ever cheated on you.”

“So what? You just want to be fuck buddies now?” Toma asked with malice seeping into his voice.

“I’m sorry I said that, I know you have a boyfriend, but I just want to be close to you in any possible way even if it means just having a sexual relationship.”

I don’t have a boyfriend. The words died on Toma’s lips.

“Please Toma, I can’t say I’m sorry enough for the way I treated you, but please give me another chance. I still love you. I always have.” Jun finally said everything that he had wanted to say that day at their coffee shop.

Toma reached out and grabbed a bagel out of Jun’s hand. “I need to go, thanks for taking care of me last night.”

And as Jun watched the door shut behind Toma he realized that he had lost him forever.

The next day he relayed the events of what had happened between him and Toma to Ohno and Nino and was met with sympathetic eyes. “Sometimes things just don’t work out.” Ohno said and it was all he could say to Jun who was distraught beyond words.

Throughout the photo shoots and magazine interviews Jun was obviously distracted. There were red circles around his eyes from crying from the night before and the director postponed the shoot after saying that Jun was “lifeless”.

Jun walked past Toma’s workplace as an architect and once again saw him through the windows, but this time he went in. “I love you,” He proclaimed not caring who heard him. “and I will do anything for a second chance with you. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m fighting for you, for us, and I promise that I will make you love me again even though you’re dating somebody now.”

Toma gasped, “Jun, I’m not dating anybody… there never was anybody else. That’s why I hate you, because even after all these years, I still love you.” Tears began to trickle down Toma’s face and all Jun wanted to do was reach out and wipe them away, but he didn’t, he couldn’t. “But I can’t go through it again. I can’t wait for you at home wondering who you are with, what you are doing, if you still love me. I can’t let my heart be broken like that again.”

“You are more important that any job. I’m sorry I forgot that, but I will never lose sight of that again.”
            “I wish I could believe you.” Toma whispered.

            “Are you sure about this?” Nino and Ohno asked simultaneously. It was the same thing Jun’s manager had asked a few hours earlier, but Jun was never more sure.

            He headed over to a flower shop and picked out a dozen red roses, Toma’s favorite and headed over to Toma’s workplace.

            Across town, Toma’s phone buzzed with a new text message from an unknown number.

To: Toma Ikuta

From: Ninomiya Kazunari

Put on the news.

            Toma turned on the local news station as watched as Jun’s face was plastered on the screen, underneath his picture were the words: breaking news.

            “The model Matsumoto Jun’s management announced today that he would be retiring from all activities and the outstanding contracts would be his last. This news comes without any forewarning of a scandal or problems with the company so it is assumed that Matsumoto-san made this decision of his own volition.”

            Toma’s eyes bulged at the news on the screen and his jaw dropped.

            “You are more important than any job.” A familiar voice said from behind him. Toma turned around to see Jun holding a bouquet of red roses out to him.

            “Baka.” Toma said, but ran over to him, crushing the flowers in the process.

            “This was the only way I knew to show you I had changed, so if you’ll accept me as Jun, just Jun, and not Jun the model, I want to be with you.”

            Toma buried his face into the crook of Jun’s neck and smiled even though tears were running down his cheeks.

            “I feel like we are back to where we started.”
            “We just came full circle.” Jun gently extricated himself from Toma’s embrace and reached into his pocket pulling out a business card.

            He offered it to Toma and Toma laughed “You’re kind of cute.” Jun repeated verbatim the exact words that he had said when he first met Toma.

            “You’re kind of hot yourself.” Toma flirted back. It was the big gesture that won Toma back, but over the next few months Jun made a series of small gestures that tried to fix the wrongs that he had made in the past.

            On their anniversary, he arranged for them to finally go to Okinawa. He returned home every night, and if for some reason he couldn’t he always texted Toma. Everyday before he left for work at a design corporation, much like his former job he reminded Toma that he loved him and anytime there was an office party he brought Toma as his date.

            One night over dinner Toma looked at the man that sat across from him and saw a slightly older version of the man that he had first fallen in love with. His Jun, not the one transformed by fame.

            “I love you.” He said which caught Jun completely off guard.

            “I love you, too.” Jun smiled.

            “Welcome back.” Toma said.

            “It’s good to be back.” Jun replied and knew that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Mistakes From the Past Prologue
Pairing: RyoUchi
Genre: Drama, Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: Don't own them, duh
Summary:What if every decision, every relationship, every career move was based off of one incident? What if you swore that you knew the truth about what had happened that night? What if you were wrong? And if you were what would you do to rectify it?

            Seeing the news about Notti making a comeback made Ryo throw the magazine across the room. It wasn’t that Ryo didn’t like Notti, in fact they were very close at one point, but it wasn’t fair. They were treated differently for the same thing that had occurred, yet Notti was still able to find favor with the fans who hadn’t abandoned him, while Hiro was struggling to get jobs.

            Hearing the sound of the magazine slap the wall Hina and Yoko looked up at Ryo’s scowl, but neither of them were particularly surprised. Anytime a Johnny got into a scandal Ryo would be in a foul mood, especially if it was Jin or Pi. Not that Ryo didn’t like them, he did, it was just he resented the redemption that they were all given because of their fanbase, and because the gradient of what they did wasn’t as bad as underaged drinking.

            Years after, everybody knew that Ryo was still scarred from what had happened, but beyond that they knew he blamed himself. The others in Kanjani had moved forward, but there was a part of Ryo that they thought would always be stuck there. On that day when the damn news article was published.

            But nobody, not even himself, knew how much he was to blame for that day. Well, there were two people. One who would never talk about it, and the other who was dying to.

    As you've probably realized, I haven't been posting much lately and I'm going on semi-haitus for a few weeks at least. I've moved and I'm trying to get used to my new life and I'm living with new people, who are fantastic by the way, and I'm trying to adjust to my new circumstances. Also, I've been kind of swamped with exchanges and I've been a little stressed out, but once they are written, I will eventually post them on my page. Additionally I feel as though the quality of my work has decreased over the past few posts and I feel like I've let readers down and myself, so I'm trying to get back liking what I write, maybe I'm just in a slump right now, I don't know.

   I apologize to everyone who commented on things and hasn't received one back. I'm getting on that, probably this weekend.

  Also, I was going to write the Juri Tanaka/ Kame fanfic, but I didn't realize that he was under 18 still, and I would feel kind of icky writing NC-17 so I'm waiting until summer to write that one, but it will be coming. I promise. 

   I hope you understand my reasons, and I'm definitely still going to be around the community and beta-ing, I just won't be updating as frequently, at least until things settle down.

  I'm truly sorry about this and I hope you'll continue to support me when I fully come back.

Pairing: Takki/ Tsubasa
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance, Fluff, little angst
Summary: Takki is a flirt and pretty much treats everybody the same, but when he tries to confess, well it doesn't turn out the way he planned.
For yoru_no_hikaruas part of the help_pilipinas$1 for a drabble fundraiser. Thanks so much for donating, I really hope you like it!

            Takki had problems with words. It was common knowledge among his friends, and even though he projected a calm and collected persona, Takki was a dork. At first Tsubasa had been surprised by it, but he quickly learned that this personality trait fit Takki perfectly. In private, Takki was goofy and quirky, and Tsubasa was one of the few people who got to see this side of him.

            After years of working together, they had a strong friendship and it wouldn’t be uncommon for someone to walk into their dressing room and see Takki sprawled out on the other one or sleeping on his lap with his arms wrapped around the other’s neck. Of course, initially Tsubasa had been taken aback by it, but he soon realized that it was just Takki’s personality and it didn’t mean anything.

            It never meant anything, or at least he never took it seriously. Because as they would walk along the hallways together, Takki would flirt with Pi or Ryo or some other Junior and that was just how things were. Takki’s treatment to him was the same as everyone and for some reason that made him sad because he wasn’t special. But in the end it was him who saw Takki on a daily basis and it was he who worked with him and saw the cracks in his armor and celebrated the highs and mourned the lows of their careers and life together.

            So when Takki invited himself over to Tsubasa’s house it was no surprise because that’s what Takki does. He brought over a bottle of wine and grinned sheepishly as Tsubasa ushered him in. They had a sort of routine that usually ended up in both of them getting drunk; at least drunk enough that Takki couldn’t drive himself home and ended up crashing on Tsubasa’s couch.

            Today was one such occasion. They made their way through the bottle of wine and ended up on the living room floor cracking up at some joke that really wasn’t even funny. Takki was actually the one that had drank the most, and Tsubasa recognized this as Takki’s escape. Takki drank for three reasons. 1) He wanted to forget. 2) He needed liquid courage. 3) He wanted to celebrate. And today Tsubasa was pretty sure it was either 1 or 2.

            Tsubasa as still semi-sober, but by 11pm, Takki was pretty much completely gone. He was giggling hysterically long after Tsubasa had stopped.

            “Why are you here, Takki?” Tsubasa asked seriously as he fingered the wine bottle as a momentary distraction.

            “What?! I can’t spend time with my good, good friend?” Takki’s words were slurred and his hand motions were sloppy.

            “Why are you drinking?” Tsubasa asked.

            “Because I’m in love with someone…” Takki said and leaned over. Before Tsubasa could protest Takki’s lips pressed against his and he gently crawled on top of the other one.

            Takki’s hand began to wander, but Tsubasa blinked his eyes open and flipped Takki over, completely pushing him off of his body.

            “Stop it!” He exclaimed and left Takki sitting on the floor dazed. After shutting the door to his own room he licked his lips and tasted Takki and a large part of him realized that he wanted to be the person that Takki was in love with and maybe, just maybe, he was right.

            The next morning when he woke up he heard Takki rummaging around his apartment and left his room to see Takki stumbling around.

            “Hey.” He greeted unsure of how to bring up the events of the previous night.

            “Hey yourself.” Takki replied.

            “About last night-” he started.

            “It was weird. Sorry, just forget about it.” Takki pulled on his shoes and Tsubasa’s heart sank.

            “Yeah, okay.” Takki left the apartment and Tsubasa sulked, but a few minutes later, he was startled by a knocking on the door and when he opened it Takki was standing expectantly.

            “I meant it, last night. I love you, and I probably have for a while.” Tsubasa felt his pulse quicken but didn’t dare regain his hope.

            “But you said to forget it.” Tsubasa countered.

            “I completely did it in the wrong manner. I want a do-over. I didn’t want to be drunk and I didn’t want you to be drunk so I want you to forget the way I confessed and hear me out this time… So what do you think?” Takki asked shyly.

            “How can I forget the way you confessed, it was our first kiss?” Tsubasa leaned down to make it their second. “And I love you too.”


Be more adventurous!!
Pairing: Koyashige
Rating: NC-17!!!
Warnings: Bondage, sex toys
Disclaimer: Don't own them.
Summary: After being together for a while, everything is perfect in their relationship except their bedroom life. When Koyama has an unconventional assignment for News Every, he finds the place that just might be have the solution.

                “This is not what I signed on for.” Koyama muttered to himself as he walked through the streets of Dogenzaka. He had wanted to be a real reporter for News Every, but instead he found himself on this ridiculous assignment. He felt his cheeks flush and the passerbys noticed him clad in a suit and standing out conspicuously as a camera crew followed him as he sought out the shop that he was told to go to. “What a joke?” Koyama murmured and he got a few odd stares as he continued on his way. A part of him wanted to run to the nearest dumpster and hide inside, but he took pride in his job, what little pride he could now muster from it and headed to the shop.

            Normally going to a shop wouldn’t faze him, but this was no ordinary piece. It was a piece that involved him going to the sex shops in Shibuya and uncovering the multibillion dollar industry of, well, sex.

            When Koyama reached the shop, he tentatively opened the door and looked inside. Immediately, having received permission from the owner of the store the cameras panned the store looking at the array of sex toys that lined each wall. Koyama tried his best not to cringe when he saw a leather unitard, if you could call it that, hanging on the wall in the cosplay section.

            When it came time for Koyama to actually do the interview part, he froze. With the camera in front of him and the microphone waved between him and the shop owner.

            “So what types of people come here?” He asked the shop owner, who in the process of observing Koyama in his store, noticed his visible distain for the…business.

            “People like you. Suits. With pent up sexual desire.” Koyama signaled for the cameras to turn off and off-camera he said. “My sex life is fine. In fact it’s better than fine.” Koyama hissed. How dare this sex peddler suggest that he was less than fulfilled?

            “You might be satisfied, but is your partner?” The owner smirked at Koyama as the newscaster stared him down.

            Koyama asked a few more questions, but when he was able to leave after having done an adequate job he was more than happy to head home.

            When he arrived home, he immediately tossed his suit coat on the floor and loosened his tie. He saw Shige sitting on the couch typing on his laptop too distracted to hear him come in. Koyama wrapped his arms around his lover and kissed his cheek. “I’m home.”

            “Welcome back.” Shige smiled and put his laptop down to welcome Kei on the couch. Finally relaxing, Koyama plopped down on the couch and rested his head in Shige’s lap.

            “Rough day?” Shige asked as he began to stroked Koyama’s hair soothingly.

            “I had to go to a fucking sex shop, today.” Koyama groaned and Shige suppressed a chuckle.

            “It didn’t go well?”

            “The owner said that I wasn’t satisfied, and then he suggested that you weren’t satisfied.” Shige stopped stroking his hair and stilled causing Koyama to sit up and look at him.

            “You aren’t satisfied?!” Koyama asked incredulously, but it was unnecessary since Shige’s face said it all.

            “I’m not good?” Koyama asked and felt his heart sink. Seeing Koyama’s disappointment, Shige hurriedly reassured him. “It’s not that you’re not good, it’s just things are a little monotonous. I mean we have sex in the same way every time, and it’s kind of…predictable.”

            “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Koyama asked as he threaded a hand through his hair and shook his head in disbelief, all this time he thought that Shige enjoyed the sex as much as he did.

            “Well, you’re not the most adventurous guy, and there’s nothing wrong with it, but I was worried that you’d freak out if I suggested anything different.”

            “So what do you want, sex toys?” Koyama blushed as he said it, and seeing Shige’s blushed he realized that he had hit the mark.

            “…I don’t know, maybe something to spice it up a bit.” Shige said shyly and Koyama kissed him to reassure him.

            “We’ll see.” He whispered, but Shige pretty much knew that that was just a means of delaying the conversation.

            The next day was coincidentally Koyama’s day off and after Shige left to meet with his editor Koyama put on the best disguise that he had , which wasn’t much, and headed back to Dogenzaka. It was like a bad dream with history repeating itself, but Shige wasn’t happy, at least in bed, and all Koyama wanted as for Shige to be happy.

            When he entered the shop, he prayed that the owner wouldn’t be there and recognize him, but he was out of luck since the owner immediately recognized him and smirked. “I was right, wasn’t I?”

            “Fine you were right. He wants to try something new.” Koyama half spat at the man.

            The owner walked around the room and handed a few things to Koyama. “Try these, it should help.”

            And that was how Koyama ended up walking out with a bag full of sex toys much to his dismay and embarrassment. When he got home he immediately examined each one and read the instructions, and he felt a sense of shame overwhelm him; enough to hide the toys under the bed and pray that Shige wouldn’t find them.

            After a few days past and Shige didn’t really express any interest in sex Koyama decided that he should try one of the toys. While Shige was sleeping, and Koyama was watching the rise and fall of his chest, he got out of bed and fumbled with the bag, pulling a few things out at random and trying not to wake Shige up in the process.

            In the dark, he was able to distinguish the silhouette of handcuffs and ankle bindings, and the outline of the vibrator. Satisfied enough with his selection Koyama returned to the bed and leaned over Shige. He gently clipped the handcuffs over his hands and Shige, still asleep, just turned over. It was only after Koyama put the ankle binding on him that Shige woke up. “Kei.” He murmured.

            Koyama turned on the night lamp as he straddled Shige and as Shige looked around disoriented, he realized that his limbs were bound.

            He struggled, but Koyama silenced him with a finger and pulled Shige’s shirt up over his head, exposing his chiseled muscles and shortly there afterwards pulled his underwear down leaving him completely exposed.

            “Kei. What are you doing?” Shige asked hesitantly. 

            “Trying something new.” Koyama leaned down and pressed kisses into Shige’s chest. With one hand he grabbed at a nipple and pulled at it, causing Shige to groan at the friction. He bent his head forward and nibbled at the other one causing Shige to arch up off the bed and groan. Koyama blindly reached for the other object lying on the bed and wrapped his fingers around it. While he continued to kiss and fondle Shige, careful though as to not kiss him on the lips, Koyama gently inserted one finger into Shige and spread him open. First one, then another and Koyama scissorred them slowly to not cause Shige any pain.

            Looking at his lover’s face, though, Shige was far from being in pain. As he yanked against the bindings seeking more of a connection and yearning to capture his lover’s lips. Shige was used to being stretched, but when he felt something plastic poking at his entrance he gasped in surprise.

            Koyama gently slid the vibrator into Shige and heard the other gasp, but his face was one of shock, not pain. He waited a few moments for Shige to adjust and then turned the vibrator on.

            Shige arched his back and screamed in ecstasy and Koyama freed his own erection which grew at seeing the sight of Shige writhing on the bed from the sensation. Shige would have stifled his moans had his arms not been bound but hearing his own noises turned him on even more and Koyama felt the need to palm himself at the sight.

            With his free hand he angled the vibrator and Shige’s spot and immediately the noises Shige made became higher and Shige was begging for release.

            “Kei… please… touch…” Shige was about to lose his mind and his erection stood proudly as every inch of his body was begging for release.

            Koyama gently pulled out the vibrator and just when Shige was about to complain, he felt something larger poking at his entrance. Koyama pushed in and it was only then that he leaned down to kiss Shige on the lips. It didn’t take long for them to come, Shige first then Koyama and afterwards, Koyama removed the ties from his exhausted lover.

            “How was it?” He asked cautiously. Shige reached up and gently rubbed the area where his hands were bound.

            “That was…that was amazing.” He said still struggling to find words to describe it. “How did you like it?” He asked carefully knowing that Koyama was not someone who was a fan of sex toys.

            “You were so sexy.” Koyama said honestly and kissed Shige’s temple.

            “Thank you.” Shige said and Koyama smiled. “Next time we can go back to normal.” Shige compromised and rested his head on Koyama’s chest.

            “Well, there are always more toys, if we’re feeling adventurous.” Koyama teased.

            “Maybe not as adventurous as this time.” Shige countered and they smiled at each other before they fell asleep; both completely and utterly satisfied.

We shouldn't be together
Pairing: Aoi/ Ryuzaki (Takki/Ryo from Orthos no Inu)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Incest, don't like don't read
Summary: Aoi and Ryuzaki are the only people on the planet who could possibly understand the other and consequently they fall in love. The problem is they are brothers and after months of dating Aoi is still trying to grapple around their tabooed relationship.
Dedicated to lilly0! Thanks for getting me involved in the help_pilipinas$1 for a drabble and thanks for donating, I hope you like it.

                Aoi lay awake, tangled in the sheets listening to the sound of Ryuzaki’s breathing in the darkness. It was wrong, what they were doing, but after they had lost their powers, Aoi had felt an empty purposelessness overcome him and Ryuzaki was the only one who could empathize with him. In a way it was like the burden of being different was lifted was gone, but so was their one connection to each other.

                In the morning, after a night of little sleep Aoi got out of bed silently and got dressed in a white button down shirt and black pants and cooked breakfast for them, on the way out the door, Ryuzaki woke up and hugged him from behind. He pressed a kiss into Aoi’s temple and noticed when his body stiffened in his grasp. “You should have woken me.” Ryuzaki whispered and although he probably didn’t mean to, or maybe he did Ryuzaki’s seductive voice went directly to Aoi’s groin.

                “I wanted to let you sleep since today’s your day off.” Aoi replied not looking at Ryuzaki. Ryuzaki gently turned his face to kiss him on the lips. “Next time wake me up, okay?” Aoi nodded.

                “I have to go.” He said. When he was almost out the door he heard Ryuzaki’s voice. “I love you.” And that made it so much worse. After Ryuzaki’s powers were gone, his personality changed. He was no longer as bitter, he became more affectionate and able to express himself; he wasn’t the only one that changed. Aoi had become less bitter and more accepting of relationships with others.

                They had begun to live together to learn more about each other about half a year earlier, but after a month or two, things escalated to something more. Physically, of course, but they were the only people who could possibly understand the other’s circumstances. If only they weren’t brothers. If only they didn’t share the same DNA that made it so taboo for their relationship to exist. And after meeting with Hasebe, the only one that knew about the true nature of their relationship, he kept replaying the words that she said in his head.

                “If anybody finds out, you’ll just get hurt. Both of you.” Hasebe wasn’t against it, per say, since they couldn’t have children, but she was concerned for both of them. The conversation didn’t bring up anything that was particularly novel to Aoi. He’d had all these concerns before, and repeatedly at that but hearing them aloud confirmed his fears and resurrected the notion that what they were doing was taboo.

                Rationally, Aoi knew that it was taboo and wrong and sick, but in the months that they had been together he knew, deep down that it wasn’t just sex or a fling. He loved Ryuzaki, because one thing that the prophecy never mentioned was that they two people with opposing powers would be soulmates. Perhaps, if they were lucky, Aoi and Ryuzaki would only have been bound by experience and been a part of each other’s lives as brothers only, but fate played a joke on them and they were fated to by lovers.

                When Aoi went home, he was surprised at a dinner that was made for him. “You looked stressed when you left.”

                Aoi didn’t smile like Ryuzaki had hoped and just said, “Thank you.” They ate their dinner mostly in silence, with Ryuzaki making feeble attempts at conversation and Aoi not saying much. It was through the conversation that Ryuzaki realized that it wasn’t just stress, but that Aoi was actually upset about something.

                After they cleaned the dishes, they sat on the couch, though the distance between the two said a lot.

                “Babe, what’s wrong?” Ryuzaki reached over to gently stroke the upper part of Aoi’s arm and noticed once again that Aoi stiffened.

                Aoi just buried his head in his hands. “I love you.” He choked out and looking at his younger brother’s body, Ryuzaki noticed that the other was crying as his shoulders shook with the sobs and he gently pulled the other closer and rubbed calming circles into his back. This time Aoi didn’t protest.

                He loved the warmth of Ryuzaki’s chest pressed up against his back. “What’s wrong?” Ryuzaki asked and pressed gentle kiss around Aoi’s face as he continued to sob. “I’m not supposed to love you. We’re brothers.”

                Ryuzaki should have known that this conversation would arise eventually, but hearing Aoi’s insecurities made panic well up in him. “So… you want to break up?” He asked in fear of the reply.

                “No! I love you. I can’t live without you now; I lived without you for over twenty years and I don’t want to go back to that.”

                “Do you regret being with me?” Ryuzaki asked vulnerable and though he tried to ask it calmly his voice betrayed him.

                “No. That’s the worst part because I’ve never looked at you as my brother, but I don’t want you to get hurt again if the media finds out, and I don’t want to be hurt either.”

                “We love each other, and as far as the other couples know, we’re just a regular gay couple. We weren’t raised together and the only thing that makes us siblings is our DNA. So why don’t we just leave it like that?”

                “But don’t you find it sick that you’re with your brother?” Aoi asked his sobs now reduced to hiccups.

                “I’m with the person that I love most in the world and there is nothing sick about that.” Ryuzaki knew that in the future this conversation would come up again and maybe his answers then wouldn’t be enough, but for now, and the foreseeable future he seemed to have placated Aoi.

                “Make love to me.” Aoi nearly whispered, but it was enough for Ryuzaki to pick him up bridal style and carry him to the bedroom. As Aoi fell back into the mattress, leaving and impression in it, Ryuzaki hovered over him gently removing each article of clothing, one piece at a time. Ryuzaki’s pace was so slow that when his hand accidentally graze Aoi’s clothed erection, he moaned and held Ryuzaki’s hand over it, encouraging him to continue palming his clothed erection. Aoi moaned and groaned as Ryuzaki pleasured him and he quickly began to thrust upward to get more friction.

                When Ryuzaki saw the pants become noticeably tighter, he removed them and freed Aoi’s erection that stood proudly. “I love you,” Aoi said as he looked up expectantly. “I love you, too” Ryuzaki replied and cautiously entered one finger at a time into the other to prepare him. Aoi jerked when Ryuzaki found his spot and his hips moved in rhythm with Ryuzaki’s fingers. After a few minutes of careful preparation, Ryuzaki penetrated him and almost came at the feeling of Aoi’s silken walls squeezing around him.

                He pulled Aoi up to kiss him and gradually started to move back and forth with his moans calling out simultaneously as Aoi. Aoi came all over their stomachs and Ryuzaki quickly followed, rolling off of him and onto the empty side of the bed.

                After Ryuzaki fell asleep Aoi looked at his strong features illuminated from the moonlight. He was lucky; he was with the man that he loved. And the man that he loved just happened to be his brother. “I love you.” He whispered to nobody particular and for the first time since they started this forbidden relationship, Aoi felt like everything might be okay.

The one thing we have in common
Pairing: Aiba/Kame
Rating: PG
Summary: Aiba and Kame weren't friends, in fact when they started talking, they didn't even have much in common. So why is it that Kame feels butterflies in his stomach?
Disclaimer: Don't own them, obviously
Dedicated toyukitsubute for the help_pilipinas $1 for a drabble. Thanks so much for donating, my dear. I hope you like it.

         They would always pass each other in the hallways but neither really even said anything to each other. It was kind of unspoken: Arashi had debuted before anybody else, at least of the newer generation and there was a sort of unspoken rule that nobody really talked to them unless it was necessary. They were practically JE royalty. It wasn’t like others weren’t famous, of course Kame was, it’s just that he wasn’t a part of Arashi. It went without saying that Arashi members were very close and in Kame’s opinion, almost too close. KAT-TUN was close, but with the members of Arashi, it was almost unheard of that they hung out with other people.

            Aiba was always unsure of why nobody outside of Arashi ever really talked to him, it wasn’t like he wasn’t friendly. In fact, just the other day he went up to a group of Juniors and wanted to have lunch with them. They spoke formally to him and politely agreed, but the entire time they were uncomfortable and seemed afraid of him.

            In the KAT-TUN dressing room after seeing a few members of Arashi pass him in the hallway, Kame commented to the other members “Don’t you think that they are a little cliquish?”

            Koki laughed, “What is this, high school? I just think that everybody is intimidated by them.”

            “You think that they would just talk to anyone?” Kame asked.

            “Firstly, you’re not just anyone, you’re Kamenashi freaking Kazuya, and secondly, I don’t think that they are intentionally standoffish.” Kame considered what Koki said and the next time he passed Aiba in the hallway he paused for a split second remembering Koki’s words.

            “You were really good in Mineneko Holmes.” Kame said and continued on his way. The sound of his voice stopped Aiba in his tracks and he turned around.

            “You watched?”

            “Of course,” Aiba smiled at the fact that someone that wasn’t in Arashi was talking to him and that Kamenashi, though he was busy, had seen his drama. “Do you maybe want to grab something to eat later?” Aiba asked with as much courage as he could muster and Kame smiled at him.

            “Sure.” It was the beginning of one of the most bizarre friendships the Jimusho had ever seen.

            They met up after work for dinner, and of course, like most first meetings over dinner it was awkward.

            “Have you been following the baseball scene lately?” Kame asked as he dipped a french fry in ketchup before popping it in his mouth.

            “I’m not really a baseball fan.” Aiba said matter-of-factly.

            “And you call yourself Japanese.” Kame joked.

            They ate their meal pleasantly and soon began to feel comfortable with each other, but there were conversation lulls as they found that outside of the Jimusho there were few things that they had in common.

            “Do you like animals?” Aiba asked, it was a well-known fact that Aiba loved all kinds of animals.

            “Just dogs. But I don’t like a lot of other ones.” Aiba frowned. As the dinner ended, it was evident that they were incredibly different people and probably the Jimusho and being idols were the only things that they had in common, but as Kame waved goodbye to Aiba, he felt the tingling sensation of butterflies in his stomach as he watched Aiba’s back move further and further away from him.

            In the privacy of his own home, watching old Arashi videos, Kame was able to identify this feeling. Love. Or at least the beginnings of it.

            The next day Kame asked Aiba to hang out with him and he agreed and they headed over to Kame’s apartment to watch the latest episode of Mineneko Holmes.

            Once again as they sat without saying much, probably because neither knew what to say Kame felt the butterflies in his stomach. There wasn’t a reason for this attraction, he told himself. They have nothing in common, but perhaps, before he even realized it, it was the reason that he had even spoke to Aiba.

            When the credits began to roll, he looked over at Aiba and swallowed. “I know we don’t really have much in common-” Kame started.

            “We have nothing in common.” Aiba smiled back.

            “We have nothing in common.” Kame conceded. “I really like you. I think I’ve liked you for a long time, which I why I finally mustered the courage to talk to you, and I can’t pinpoint a reason as to why I like you. Maybe there isn’t even one, but when I’m around you I get butterflies in my stomach and I think I’m falling for you.” Kame felt a warm blush cover his cheeks and waited for Aiba’s response.

            “I was wrong. We have something in common because I think I’m falling for you too.” Aiba leaned down and sweetly kissed Kame and cupped his cheek.

            “But we have nothing in common, how can we be together?” Aiba just shrugged at Kame’s concern.

            “I like you and you like me and I could start watching more baseball.” Kame laughed.

            “And I think pandas are kind of cute too.” Aiba smiled at Kame and kissed him again.

I'm not like the others

Pairing: Pikame ( I can't get away from these two)
Genre: Angst, AU, Drama, Romance
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Kame was gorgeous and when Pi saw Kame at the university it was lust at first sight, but when Pi takes it upon himself to protect Kame from other's advances does he feel more than lust and will he be able to break Kame's barriers?
           Kame was somewhat of a legend at the university. Nobody really knew where he lived or where he went when he wasn’t in class, but everyone had seen or had heard about his beauty, but when Pi walked on campus he was told of the legendary Kame. One of his sempais explained that Kame’s beauty rivaled that of Aphrodite, and to that Pi just scoffed. This Kame person might be attractive, sure, but he wasn’t so bad looking himself and he was sure that Kame would be just a normal person.

            When he walked into his chemistry seminar, chatter filled up the room and the conversation was animated, more so than usual. Pi looked around the room to see the cause of commotion. His head turned to see a thin boy with auburn hair, who wasn’t remarkably tall, enter the room. He didn’t go far, in fact he took a seat in the furthest row and scowled at the guys and girls who were gawking at him. Without even having to ask, Pi knew that it was Kame.

            Subconsciously Pi found himself drawn to where Kame was sitting and he blurted out his thought. “You’re so fucking gorgeous.” Pi said, and the moment the words escaped his lips he covered his mouth in horror.

            Kame’s head turned towards him and faced with his signature scowl Pi cringed. “Go fuck yourself.” Kame said and just as quickly as he had sat down he stood back up and walked out of the room.

            One of Pi’s classmates walked up to a stunned Pi and chuckled, “So you’ve been charmed by him, too?” Pi looked up, embarrassed until the other guy said, “Don’t worry, Kame’s like that to everyone, he’ll occasionally have a casual fuck with someone on campus, but he’s mostly aloof and hostile to everyone.”

            Pi felt chagrined at his sudden impulse and the embarrassing act that he had just done. Throughout the day, he wondered about Kame and his reaction. Of course it was warranted. It was weird that a complete stranger would blurt out something so strange on a first encounter. He wandered up to the rooftop for lunch and admired the view. He heard shuffling feet around the corner and peered around to see an upperclassman pining someone against the wall. Upon closer look, it was Kame.

            “What the hell are you doing?” Pi asked and upon hearing another person’s voice, the upperclassman released Kame who collapsed on the ground and hurried away.

            “Are you okay?” Pi asked, Kame looked up and when recognition dawned on him he frowned and picked himself up.

            “I’m fine no thanks to jackasses like you and him.” Kame’s face was marred by the beginnings of a bruise that had begun to swell on his left cheek. His shirt was disheveled, and when he reached down to pull up his zipper, Pi realized that the upperclassman’s intent was not just to beat him up like many other bullies, it was to rape him.

            “Don’t group me with him!” Pi exclaimed with more force than intended.

            “Why? You bastards are all the same, objectifying me based on the way that I look. ‘You’re so fucking gorgeous,’ right?” Kame hissed out, fury seeping into his voice.

            “I wanted to apologize about that.” Pi explained, “I usually would never say something like that, I don’t know what came over me. I’m truly sorry.”

            Kame shrugged, although from the look on his face Pi knew that he wasn’t forgiven. “You may not act like them, but you think the same way, which makes you equally barbaric.” Kame turned on his heels and left Pi once again to ponder the encounter that had just occurred.

            A few days passed and he didn’t see Kame which caused him to worry, what if another guy like the last one cornered him and tried to attack him? When he finally saw Kame again the bruise had disappeared from his face. He quietly observed him and saw how he was harassed by other students. Girls would grab at him and try to kiss him while boys would try to fondle him in the bathroom thinking that they wouldn’t be caught.

            As they passed in the hallway, Pi pulled him into an empty classroom and shut the door behind them. “What are you going to do?” Kame asked and his eye held a challenging gaze as if to ask, try and do something, I dare you.

            “You need help.” Pi declared and Kame’s eyebrow perked up in question.

            “What do I need help with? And who’s going to help me, you?” Kame asked.

            “You’re being harassed more than usual and I can help. I’m tough and I can protect you.”

            “That sounds fine, but you don’t have altruistic motives, you’re doing this to get close to me.” Kame spit out sarcastically.

            “That may be true, but think about it. You’ll just have one person to deal with instead of all of them.” Kame blinked, what Pi said was logical, although he disliked the other one, but he recalled the reaction of the boy that tried to rape him and he figured that Pi might be useful.

            “Fine, but just try and touch me.” Kame warned and Pi held his hands up in silent surrender and nodded appreciating the small victory. He couldn’t explain why, but he was drawn to the other man and needed to be near him.

            In the next days, Pi followed Kame from the moment he walked in the gates until the end of the day. He was grateful that their classes were so close that he could keep an eye on the other one. Initially people had tried to make advances on Kame but when they noticed that Pi was so protective of Kame, they slowly began to resort to admiring him from afar.

            For Kame it was a relief, he slowly stopped worrying about being groped in school. The down side was that he had to put up with Pi. For the most part, Kame just ignored him, but occasionally, Pi would make a statement that elicited a response from Kame. One day they were sitting next to each other in chemistry class and Kame stood up and Pi stretched out his hand. Kame spun back around and hissed, “Try and touch my ass.”

            Pi’s eyes widened, “I wasn’t, your shirt was partially tucked in.” Kame turned an abnormal shad e of red when he realized his mistake. “Sorry.” He mumbled.

            Things were awkward after that. Kame wasn’t sure what to do exactly about the awkwardness between them, but for some reason he felt uncomfortable. “I’m sorry I suspected you.” Kame said later when they were alone.

            “It’s okay.” Pi said. “But I’m not like the others, I’m not going to hurt you.”

            “I know.” Kame said and for the first time, it felt like he was telling the truth.

They were walking home one day when two tall men stopped them and cornered them in an alley.

“Give us the fucking boy and you won’t get hurt.” One of the men brandished a wooden object and held it menacingly.

Pi quickly, without hesitation, moved his body between Kame’s and the other two men and pushed Kame behind him. He slowly took a few steps backwards and said as calmly as he could. “Let us go and nothing will happen to you.”

“Sorry, but we want the pretty boy.”

“It’s fine.” Kame whispered in Pi’s ear and tried to push him aside.

“It’s not okay.” Seeing as how Pi had no intention of letting Kame go, one of the men went at him. Pi was trying to fight and he was good, but it wasn’t a fair fight. In the alley where they had been driven in, Pi was getting a few good jabs in, but when it was two against one, Pi was being hammered. A coincidental siren whirring in the background startled the other men and they fled leaving Pi and Kame in the alley.

In relief, and probably pain, Pi sank to the ground and Kame was barely strong enough to hold him up to keep him from hitting his head on the ground. “Are you stupid? I don’t care, I’ve been doing this for a long time.”

“You should care. You’re a human being not something that can be passed around from person to person.  Value yourself more.” Pi said with fervent emphasis and Kame was suddenly overcome with a strong desire to kiss him. He leaned down and momentarily forgot about the place they were in and the trauma that had just occurred.

When Pi felt Kame’s lips press against his own, his eyes widened in surprise in shock. Kame hated him, didn’t he? He closed his eyes are relished the moment. “Thank you.” Kame said when he pulled away and helped Pi to his feet. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” Pi smiled at Kame and though Kame acted as though nothing had happened, Pi knew that something had changed between them.

Kame took a limping Pi to his nearby apartment and after Pi had stripped off his shirt, Kame sighed in relief seeing as how the wounds were superficial. “I’ll get you some new clothes to change into.” For a few minutes, Kame left Pi in the living room while he searched for a T-shirt large enough for Pi. In the meantime, Pi looked around Kame’s apartment and was surprised by the bareness of it. The sparse furniture and near lack of decorations made it seem as though the apartment was uninhabited.

Pi walked over to the bookcase and looked at some of the books that Kame had on the shelf. Most were titles that he recognized from the university curriculum, but there were a few new titles. Pi picked up and paged through it and wedged in the pages of the book was a photograph. Pi gingerly picked it up and rubbed the old paper between his fingers. It was a picture of a little boy grinning at the camera. His eyes were a little too far apart and his nose was crooked; he had incredibly large ears but nevertheless the boy was adorable.

When Kame returned and saw Pi with the photograph he dropped the clothes and snatched the photo from Pi’s fingers. “What the hell are you doing?” The smile that Pi had had on his face disappeared seeing Kame’s anger flare and he apologized. Kame put the picture in his pocket and handed Pi the clothes that he had found. Kame brushed off the incident, but to Pi it was obvious that he was rattled.

The atmosphere had changed once more and Kame discomfort didn’t go unnoticed by Pi. “I think that I should go.” Pi said once he rid himself of the bloodied clothes and  wore the new clothes.

“Yeah.” Kame replied and watched as Pi walked out the door.

In the days that followed Kame and Pi began to become more than what they were, yet there was still an evident distance between them. They met on the rooftop as usual and things were not much different except now they exchanged kisses and occasionally made out on the roof top.

Pi never brought up the picture of the little boy up again. Things were better between them and Kame was kissing him which was progress, but it was a subject that was still forbidden to talk about.

One day on the rooftop Kame looked at Pi with his big, brown trusting eyes and asked, “You’re not like the others right?”

Pi frowned and reassured him that he was different. Kame smiled at that and whispered in his ear “Want to go to my place after school?” Pi grinned and nodded capturing Kame’s lips in a kiss.

When the last class ended they half ran home lust goading both of them on. Kame fumbled with his keys to unlock the door and dragged Pi to his bed. They fumbled with each other’s clothing trying to undress the other as quickly as possible and Pi trying to not let his inexperience show.

Pi leaned down and pushed Kame so his back was flush against the mattress. He removed the shirt from the smaller man and kissed the now-exposed milky skin of Kame’s chest. While his fingers nimbly sought to unbutton Kame’s pants, Pi sucky on Kame’s neck carefully biting at it without hurting the other. The feeling of Pi’s wet, silky tongue elicited a moan from Kame who felt his pants become increasingly tighter with each passing moment.

Kame, using his hand angled at the back of Pi’s neck, encouraged Pi to continue his ministrations and began to remove Pi’s clothing with as much energy as he could muster, momentarily tearing his focus from Pi’s attentiveness. They lay on the bed stark naked with Pi gently moving his ministrations downward. He hesitantly fondled Kame and closed his eyes when Kame began to moan and his moans got higher in pitch.

Pi continued kissing him, alternating between sucking at his neck and kissing him full on the lips. He inserted one finger gingerly and allowed Kame to get used to the feeling before adding additional digits. Kame stiffened at the unfamiliar sensation but smiled when he noticed the care that Pi was taking in preparing him unlike the other men that he’d been with previously.

Pi thrust into him and Kame’s eyes widened in ecstasy, when, on the first try Pi hit his spot. Pi continued to move in and out and Kame grabbed at his hips to urge him to go faster. Within a couple of minutes, they were covered in a sweaty sheen and both were gasping for breath as they came one right after the other.

Pi pulled out and lay next to Kame on the bed. “You are so fucking gorgeous.” He repeated as he looked at the man that was lying next to him, the man who he had just made love to.

When Kame heard those words he visibly stiffened under Pi’s arm and looked down.

“You’re just like the others.” Kame said, and the sadness that oozed from his voice didn’t go unnoticed to Pi. Kame removed the covers and headed out of the room shamelessly. Pi sat up in bed, confused and waited until Kame returned, holding something in his hand with tears streaming down his face.

“All that you care about is the way I look, you’re just like everybody else.”


Kame shoved what he was holding into Pi’s hand. “I used to look like this.” Kame said and when Pi looked down he realized that it was the picture that had been tucked into the book that he had found earlier. It was the awkward little boy.

“You look different.” Pi said. It wasn’t good or bad, but the boy from the picture and Kame had little resemblance to each other.

“I know. I was ugly. Every day I was teased, ‘you’re unlovable’, ‘you’re so ugly nobody would want you’ so I changed.”

“What do you mean?” Pi asked afraid of the answer.

“I got plastic surgery.” Kame said. “My ears were pinned back, my nose was broken and reset, they changed the way I looked.” Pi got out of bed and held Kame.

“I was ugly before and now I’m just an object of people’s lust.” Kame said bitterly as tears continued to trickle down his face. “I thought you were different. You said you were different.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through such pain and felt that you had to change yourself but you were never ugly. You were adorable in that picture and you are beautiful today.”

“Stop saying that.” Kame refuted and tried to pry himself out of Pi’s strong hold.

“But you are so much more than that. You’re shy, and you get embarrassed easily, and you’re smart, and fun and kind. You are beautiful, but I love you because of who you are not what you look like.”

“But the first time we met…” Kame sniffled.

“I was attracted to you; I still am, but my feelings became more than that.” Pi said and kissed Kame first on the cheek, then on the lips. “I’ll prove to you that I’m not like the others.”

Kame turned his head to better facilitate the kiss. “Nobody’s ever said that to me.”

“You need to start valuing yourself more. You’re not an object, you’re the person I love.”

This time when Kame smiled it was completely genuine.  “Maybe I’m just starting to realize that, and maybe I’m starting to love you, too.”

Pi pulled him back in bed for another round of lovemaking and when they were done, Kame looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you for seeing me.”


Log in